GROW OLD OR STAY YOUNG?

Almost every day, a classmate or coursemate turns 84/85. Spouses are clocking 75-80. Are we growing old?

In his unforgettable song in "Gigi", Maurice Chevalier is glad he is not young anymore-

'How lovely to sit here in the shade, with none of the woes of man and maid....

No more confusion, no morning-after surprise,

No self-delusion that when you are telling those lies, she isn't wise....

No more frustation, no star-crossed lover am I....

I've never been so comfortable before,

I'm so glad I'm not young anymore.'

But he does not say he is 'old'!

In her classic song 'Abhi Toh Mein Jawan Hoon', Malika Pukhraj has no thought of giving up her 'jawani'-

'Abhi toh mein jawan hoon....

Yeh bulbulon ke chahchahey, yeh gulrukhon keh qah-qahey,

Yeh ishq ki kahaaniyaan, yeh ras bhari jawaaniyaan, 

Woh raag chherh mutriba, tarab-fizaa alam-rubaa,

Asar sadaa-e-saaz-ka, jigar mein aag de lagaa,

Har ik lab pe ho sadaa, na haath rok saaqiyaa, pilaaye ja pilaaye ja,

Abhi toh mein jawan hoon.'

And why not? Robert De Niro and Al Pacino have become fathers again at 83. Whenever Akhila and I show reluctance at travelling, Ruchir quotes the example of Frank Wisner, former US Ambassador to India, who at 85, with half his body parts replaced, keeps constantly on the move all over the world as a member of various organisations. The other day I read about an Indian lady who at 106 regularly takes part in Veteran races and recently won three medals!

On entering teens, one is impatient to become an adult. At the age if 14, I went and got myself a shaving kit. Vinnie Mama saw it and told me not to be in a hurry as, in time, I would have to shave every day, maybe more, and get tired of the daily ritual. That observation has come true as I have now made it an alternate day affair sometimes extended by another non-shaving day. And I repeat Vinnie Mama's advice to my grandsons.

Part of growing up, love happens. Little Rita Faye sang a sweet song of a schoolgirl whose mother had to tell her to 'Wait A Little Longer'-

' I've got a sweetheart, he carries home my books,

He stays in my dollhouse and says he likes my looks,

I'll tell you a secret, he wants to marry me,

But Mama says that I'm too little to have such thoughts as these.

So wait a little longer, till I'm a little bit older,

I'll love you and kiss you too, I'll be a little bit bolder.'

Chances are 'Mama' had the experience of her mother's advice at the former's daughter's age!

So one goes through the ups and downs of life with one's own experiences till one may realise as Charles Aznavour put it-

'Yesterday when I was young, there were so many songs that waited to be sung,

So many wild pleasures that lay in store for me....

I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out,

I never stopped to think what life was all about.'

But all songs can never be sung and one should be content, happy and grateful for those which one could sing. The sinking feeling of the roller-coaster of life going down is pleasantly relieved by the thrill and pleasure of ristng. Maurice Chevalier may be glad in not being young anymore but in our hearts, we should hark to Frank Sinatra-

'Fairytales can come true, it can happen to you if you're young at heart,

For it's hard you will find, to be narrow of mind if you're young at heart,

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes,

You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams....

Don't you know that it's worth every treasure on earth to be young at heart,

For as rich as you are, it's much better by far, to be young at heart.

And if you should survive to 105, look at all you'll derive out of being alive....

If you are among the very young at heart.'

For our loved ones (and, hopefully, vice versa!), there is Nat King Cole-

'You will never grow old, while there's love in your heart,

Time may silver your golden hair, as you dream in an old rocking chair.

So keep my love in your heart, remember the love tales we told,

For with my love in your heart, my darling,

You will never grow old.'

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