WEE-BIT MORE ON "SISTERS"- IN A LIGHTER VEIN

Mummy, the first child of my grandparents, was named Bimla. The name signifies 'purity' and 'innocence'. So when she was followed by another girl, Pitaji and Mataji aptly named her Nirmala which had a similar significance, viz. 'cleanliness' and 'virtuosity', and satisfied the prerequisite of rhyming.

The next set of girls came from Mansi and preserving the tradition set by her parents, she named her daughters Manjula and Anjula.

My wife also comes from the same small community of Brahmins called 'Suryadwajs' as I do. Our fathers studied in Agra College together and were very good friends. At our first meeting, I, as well as most of my family, knew her only as Binno, a name by which she is still called by our relatives. When our marriage was fixed, we needed her real name for the wedding card and were told it was Akhila. Another rhyme!

Summer of 1997, Mummy and Mansi decided to visit the US where stays Navin, Mansi's younger son. In an intimate conversation, his wife, an American, laughingly coined the term "La-la girls" for them.

Guess her name.

"Pamela"!

Out of context and not at all relevant to my earlier blog and, therefore, rightly omitted, for those who don't know the song "Sisters", here, for a laugh, are the closing lines:-

"Many men have tried to split us up but no one can

Lord, help the mister who comes between me and my sister

And Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man".

Sharing has its limits!

 

A TALE OF TWO SISTERS

In "White Christmas", that super evergreen 1954 movie, there was a delightful song and dance number by Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen. They sang,

"Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters....

Caring, sharing, every little thing that we are wearing

When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome

She wore the dress and I stayed at home.

All kinds of weather, we stick together, the same in the rain or sun,

Two different faces, but in tight places, we think and we act as one....

Those who've seen us, know that not a thing could come between us...."

Today is the 103rd birth anniversary of my Mansi, Nirmala, Mummy's younger sister by just over two years. I recall the very close relationship of the two sisters who, even after marriage, got together whenever they could rather than seek company of others or visit new places. Both were married very young but Mummy became a widow at 21 with me at 4. I was then taken care of by my Nana and Nani and Mummy sent to Benares followed by Allahabad for post Matric studies. (Not familiar with these places? They don't exist any more as, let me check....they are now Varanasi and Prayag respectively!). During vacations when Mummy came home, Mansi would come over too. 

Post graduation, Mummy started teaching and Mansi's family expanded. Now she took to calling us over to her place. I remember two wonderful summer holidays, one in Delhi in 1948 in the then Diplomatic Enclave (Chanakyapuri) and the second in 1949 in Dehradun and Mussoorie, the latter famous or infamous for my skating mania which almost got me lost!

I joined the NDA and the Navy and Mansi's visits to my grandparents and Mummy continued. On many of my leaves, Mansi was there too and that added fun to my holiday. I marvelled at the closeness of the sisters and how they were always one in their thoughts and outlook and took the same stand on all family matters.

Mummy passed away in Jaipur on Christmas Day in 2010, just over a month short of 90. Mansi came over twice, once during Mummy's short illness and again for the 'tehravi'. Mansi followed Mummy just over a year later, a day short of 89. So ended the era of the two loving sisters.

Mansi was true to her name Nirmala, meaning pure, immaculate and flawless. The dictionary says it signifies a clean, honest and virtuous nature, true descriptions of Mansi.

And I will always remember her winsome, charming and mystic smile.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, NOT SHEEP

A cup and a saucer always go together. Is it because the tea or coffee may spill from the cup and stain your clothes or just that it is easier to hold the saucer than the cup? Some take to sipping the hot drink from the saucer, a habit considered to be uncultured and as we say in Hindi, "ganwar" meaning boorish or rustic..

The other day, a naval friend of mine, Anup Thomas, himself a writer, sent me a poem, "Drinking From My Saucer" by John Paul Moore, which gives a different dimension to the act: "I'm drinking from my saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed." It is a sweet, emotional poem thanking God for the blessings bestowed so much so that the cup of life has overflowed making one gratefully drink from the saucer. The opening lines define the beautiful thought-

"I've never made a fortune and it's probably too late now

But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow.

And as I go along life's way, I'm reaping better than I sowed

I'm drinking from my saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed."

As is my wont, I then fell to recalling some old songs with similar themes. "Count Your Blessings" was first sung by Bing Crosby, the 'old Groaner', in the all-time great Christmas movie "White Christmas", the title song of which, also sung by Crosby, is on everyone's lips in the Yuletide season. Here is what "Count Your Blessings" says,

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings.

When my bankroll is getting small

I think of when I had none at all

And I fall asleep counting my blessings."

An amazing fact: Irving Berlin, the composer of the song, went to see a psychiatrist for insomnia. After listening to the steps Berlin narrated for attempts to sleep, the psychiatrist asked, "Have you tried counting your blessings?" Insomnia cured and a song was born!

"Crying in the Chapel" was a popular number expressing contentment and was sung by various top artistes of old including Elvis Presley. I loved the version by my favourite singer in my schooldays, Frankie Laine. Its opening lines go thus - 

"You saw me crying in the chapel

The tears are shed were tears of joy

I know the meaning of contentment 

Now, I'm happy with the lord."

I have experienced similar feelings in my numerous visits to the Shreenathji temple in Nathdwara and when on a trip to Rome, I stood transfixed in St. Peter's Basilica in Vatican City in front of Michelangelo's "Pieta" with sounds of an organ playing Schubert's "Ave Maria". 

Sometimes when things go wrong one feels like questioning God. Frankie Laine did that in "Answer Me" -

"Answer me, Lord above

Just what sin I have been guilty of?

Tell me how I came to lose my love

Please answer me, oh Lord."

Laine was gentle. Our own old singing maestro, Kundan Lal Saigal, was much more questionoing in a sad and emotive song addressing not God but "Kaatib-e-taqdeer" meaning 'writer of destiny'. The lines are classic:

"Aye kaatib-e-taqdeer mujhe itna bata de, itna bata de

Kyoon mujhse khafa hai tu kya maine kiya hai.

Auron ko khushi mujhko faqat dardo ranj-o-gham

Duniya ko hansi aur mujhe rona diya hai....

Kya thi khata ki jiski sazaa tooney mujh ko di

Kya tha gunah ke jiska badla mujhse liya hai

Kya maine kiya hai, kya maine kiya hai

Kyoon mujhse khafa hai tu, kya maine kiya hai?"

(Oh writer of destiny, just tell me this much, just this much

Why are you angry with me, what have I done

To others happiness but to me only pain, sorrow and grief

You have given laughter to the world and crying for me....

What was the guilt for which you have awarded punishment for me

What was the crime for which you have taken revenge from me

What have I done, what have I done

Why are you angry with me, what have I done?)

Some questions may remain unanswered particularly for the sufferer. The Bhagavad Gita says that we have to keep performing our duty sincerely with due devotion to God and not think about or attempt to claim the fruits of our actions. Do good and good will follow.

So wrote Richard Rodgers in “Something Good" which Maria and Captain von Trapp sing, happy and together, after falling in love with each other in "The Sound of Music". 

"Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could

So somewhere in my youth or childhood

I must have done something good."