ROLLY LEWIN AS I KNEW HIM

 

Navy Foundation message routinely said, “Deeply regret to inform the demise of Commodore Roland Derek Lewin…” For those of us who knew him well, it was sad and disturbing though ‘Rolly’ as he was popularly known, had been keeping unwell for five years and more since he suffered a stroke.

Rolly was a year senior to me being from 12th NDA Course to my 14th. Since we were from different squadrons, I didn’t know him then. Our acquaintance came about when we were posted as Divisional Officers in the NDA in 1964-65. Rolly had just got married and I was a bachelor but the naval community was small and close and we stuck together at social functions and wherever else. 

I really got to know him well when we became shipmates on Trishul in 67-68. We had just completed our respective specialisations and Rolly was appointed as the Navigation Officer and I as the Communications Officer of the frigate Trishul. We spent most of the day together on the ship’s bridge and got along with each other splendidly. Rolly had a good appetite and the Wardroom steward was instructed to bring cheese and ham sandwiches and cocktail sausages with coffee up to the bridge every hour. I am a vegetarian but have to confess that Rolly corrupted me to savour chopped ham and a piece of sausage now and then!

With Bunny Suri followed by Jayanto Roy Chowdhry as the Gunner and Gulu Kumar the Torpedo and Anti-Submarine expert, we combined to form a well-knit, proficient operational team which never let the ship or the Captain down.

Rolly and I shared a love for music and in spare time, had songs like “Hey Jude” and “Black Is Black” blasting at full volume. Staid people like the Electrical Officer and President Wardroom Committee, opted to stay out of the Wardroom and have meals in their cabins at least one deck away!

Following Trishul, Rolly and I were together at Cochin in ND and Signal Schools respectively as Chief Instructors. For exercises, we were often called upon to assist CO Venduruthy on his operational staff. I have elsewhere described how an exercise went hilariously wrong. Briefly, two units of the Cochin force which were to rendezvous in a position designated as RR (Romeo Romeo), could never meet throughout the exercise due to an encoding error in transmitting the RR coordinates. This resulted in the Bombay fleet carrying out their task of attacking Cochin successfully with the defending ships wasting their time desperately searching for Romeo Romeo. The morning after the debrief where the mystery of the elusive RR was solved, Commodore Malia, CO Venduruthy, Rolly and I were at a Basketball match. Cmde Malia came to the two of us and said, “You know, the rendezvous incident reminded me of Shakespeare’s play ‘Julius Kaiser’ where Juliet goes around searching for her lover muttering ‘Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?’” All of us burst out laughing for a long time. Later, we discovered that Cmde Malia was an MA in English, so his remarks were probably not out of ignorance but deliberate to make us laugh.

After Cochin, we went our separate ways but were again brought together for about a month on the team at NHQ looking into the Mysore mutiny. I was married by then and we were put up in Kotah House along with the Lewins. That allowed Akhila and Marcia to spend time with and get to know each other.

There would be a long gap before we could meet again. I was on the East Coast while Rolly was more on the West. Then I went to Singapore and our next and last meeting was in March 1988 when I came on leave to Delhi. Rolly was Director Naval Operations (DNO). I visited him in his office in the War Room sitting with his feet on the table without shoes and with stockings rolled down. I asked him what if the Deputy Chief or some other senior officer walked in. Rolly said, “When they superseded me, I declared that I would put my feet on the table and that is just what I am doing.” We talked about the good old days for a while before I came away,

Soon after, both of us retired and he settled down in Bangalore and I in Delhi. In 2017, Akhila and I went to Coorg and spent a couple of days in Bangalore. I spoke on phone to Rolly who sounded low and told me he was not keeping well as he had recently had a stroke. Time and space did not permit me to visit him. Now I wish I had walked that extra mile.

Looking at Rolly’s appointments, I see that he commanded two frontline ships, Sindhudurg and Udaygiri, he was Fleet Operations Officer Western Fleet, DNO, Chief Instructor (Navy) at Staff College, Wellington, and had graduated from the National Defence College, New Delhi. So why was he overlooked for flag rank? Unfortunately, Navy does not provide answers. 

Rolly was an intelligent, honest, bold and upright officer. Wish there were more like him.

  

TWO SONGS TO PONDER OVER

 

Oh for the songs of ‘50s and early ‘60s when life was simple and so were the songs. Before The Rolling Stones burst on the scene with "Let's Spend The Night Together", the advent of drug culture and protests over the Vietnam War, all in the second half of '60s, songs were just pure expressions of love from the songwriters and the singers, straight from the heart. There was a song for everything from falling in love, holding hands, a kiss, misunderstandings, heartbreaks, to wanting to make up. 

Bing Crosby professed "True Love". The song has a special resonance with me as it brings to mind the lengthy arguments I used to have with my coursemate and shipmate on Betwa in 1967, Bobby Bhandoola. "True Love" for me meant platonic love and I would argue in its favour while Bobby maintained that it did not exist!

Other notable songs of that genre had Elvis Presley wishing to be his love’s “Teddy Bear”, Herb Alpert declaring “This Guy’s In Love With You”, The Beatles simply wanting to “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”, ‘Satchmo’ Armstrong asking for “A Kiss To Build A Dream On” and Tom Jones leaving it to his love to do as she pleased with “Help Yourself.” 

As love progresses, so do problems. When going away for a while, Perry Como cautioned “Don’t Let The Stars Get In Your Eyes”, Dean Martin said, “Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder, For Somebody Else”, Pat Boone sang “I Almost Lost My Mind” at the possibility of losing his love and The Equals pleaded “Baby Come Back.” The point of no return reached in Frankie Sinatra or Eddie Fisher's "I'm Walking Behind You" 'on your wedding day'.

So that that stage is not reached, two songs sound the warning bell. The first is about hurting the one you love through hasty and thoughtless words which is something most of us could be guilty of at sometime or the other. Ponder over the words of The Mills Brothers' bittersweet song from way back 1948:-

“You always hurt the one you love

The one you shouldn’t hurt at all

You always take the sweetest rose

And crush it till the petals fall.

You always break the kindest heart

With a hasty word you can’t recall, so

If I broke your heart last night

It’s because I love you most of all.”

For good effect, sung thrice!

In similar vein, Neil Young sang-

"The saddest words of tongue and pen

Are these four words, 'It might have been'.

We had big dreams, We made big plans,

How could they slip, Right through our hands.

Instead of tearing our romance to pieces,

Why don't we try to right what we've done wrong.

It's not too late, To set things straight,

Let's never say, 'It might have been'."

SMILE DOES NOT ALWAYS WIN

 

 

On my return from New York recently, I was down from jetlag for a longer period than in the past. Upsetting of my daily routine led to a spell of dyspepsia.

I first learnt of this tummy ailment while reading PG Wodehouse in my schooldays. PG’s characters, addicted to heavy drinking and rich foods, often suffered from it. Different remedies were sought but the most unusual one is described in the story, “The Smile That Wins”, in the book, “Mulliner Nights”.

Adrian Mulliner, a private detective, who frequently suffers from dyspepsia, meets Millicent who is attracted to him by the strange, painful look that he wears due to the disease. They fall in love but Millicent’s father, the Earl of Brangbolton, wants Millicent to marry a financier of his acquaintance.

Adrian’s dyspepsia gets worse due to this heartbreak and he goes to his doctor who tells him that the best remedy for dyspepsia is to smile. Adrian does not quite know how to as he has not smiled since his childhood days and the effort makes him develop a distinctly sinister look that seems to suggest to his onlookers that he knows their darkest secrets.

Consequently, when Adrian meets the financier who has plenty to hide, the latter hands him a cheque for a hundred thousand pounds. The Earl who cheats at cards gives his consent to Millicent marrying Adrian in order to carry on cheating.

I thought why not give smile a chance and get rid of dyspepsia and perhaps gain some side benefits. So I made an effort to smile when my better half came in and saw me. She said, “I thought you were suffering from pain in your tummy but here you are, hale and hearty, lazing and ridiculously smirking.” I tried to explain why I was smiling but she would have none of it, “You are perfectly all right and pretending to be unwell just to gain sympathy from me. Now get up and help me do some work and wipe that smile off your face.”

The last few words brought back a painful memory. 67 years ago, I joined the National Defence Academy and after reporting, was directed towards my allotted squadron, ‘F’. I was trudging along with my possessions, a bedding and a trunk, but trying to smile looking forward as I was to the beginning of a glorious naval career. I was spotted by a senior whose immediate words to me were, “Wipe that stupid smile off your bloody face!”

I soon learnt that smiling for a first termer was an absolute no-no and would only land him in trouble. It was much worse if a second termer, looking for blood after having himself gone through six months of intense ragging in the previous term, caught me smiling as that would earn not just a scolding but physical punishment in terms of front rolls and back rolls and measuring the length and more of a vast corridor by hopping on haunches.

I wiped off my smile and instead reached for some Pudin Hara and Gaviscon.

WALK THE SONGS- WEAVE A LOVE STORY

This piece is dedicated to Vinnie Mama on his 93rd birth anniversary today 21st July. He put me on my lifelong walk of songs.

On my usual stroll one evening, songs with ‘walk’ in the lyrics started humming in my mind. An idea flashed- weave them into a love story.

My story starts with a song Vinnie Mama picked up soon after joining the Navy in 1948. It went, “Said Cockin’ Finn to Moffin’ Sue, walking down 5th Avenue, so honey, have a (sniff) have a (sniff) on me, honey, have a (sniff) have a (sniff) on me.”

Now I have no idea what ‘sniff’ meant and nor did Vinnie Mama. I’ll assume that it was a drink. Sue accepted and they started dating.

Johnnie Ray now takes up and sings-

“Gee, it’s late after staying out late, walking my baby back home,

Arm in arm over meadow and farm, walking my baby back home….

We stop for a while, she gives me a smile, and cuddles her cheek to my chest,

We start in to pet, and that’s when I get, her powder all over my vest.

Just when I want to straighten my tie, she wants to borrow my comb,

One kiss and then we continue again, walking my baby back home.”

Finn is now thoroughly smitten and starts frequenting the ‘Street Where You Live’ as in “My Fair Lady”-

“I have often walked down the street before, but the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before….

Does enchantment pour out of every door? No, it’s just on the street where you live.

And oh, the towering feeling, just to know somehow you’re near,

The overpowering feeling, that any second you may suddenly appear.”

The path of love is strewn with thorns and soon they get in the way of our couple. The relationship sours and Finn makes an unsuccessful effort to forget Sue. Back to Johnnie Ray-

“Just walking in the rain, getting soaking wet, torturing my heart by trying to forget,

Just walking in the rain, so alone and blue, all because my heart still remembers you.”

Pat Boone echoes the pain in another way-

“I’m walking the floor over you, I can’t sleep a wink, that is true.

I’m hoping and I’m praying as my heart breaks right in two,

Walking the floor over you.”

As does Fats Domino-

“I’m walkin’, yes indeed…. I’m hopin’ that you’ll come back to me.

I’m lonely as I can be, I’m waiting for your company, I’m hoping that you’ll come back to me.”

When she doesn’t come back, things get acrimonious and Frankie Laine holds out a warning-

“Your cheatin’ heart will make you weep, you’ll cry and cry and try to sleep,

But sleep won’t come the whole night through….

When tears come down like fallin’ rain, you’ll toss around and call my name,

You’ll walk the floor, the way I do,

Your cheatin’ heart will tell on you.”

The girl will have none of it and returns the accusation in strong words. As Nancy Sinatra says,

“….You’ve been a’messin’ where you shouldn’t ‘ve been a’messin’

And now someone else is getting all your best.

These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do,

One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

Are you ready, boots? Start walkin’”.

Thankfully, love triumphs and the two resume walking. In the words of Rosemary Clooney,

“So I walked to my door like a good girl should, he stopped at my door like I knew he would….

He asked me for a good night kiss, I said it’s still good day.

I would have told him more except, his lips got in my way….

So I walked down the aisle like a good girl should,

He followed me down the aisle like I knew he would.”

Now together, Finn and Sue are dreaming of kids toddling along in their home  listening to Henry Mancini’s delightful and cheerful fun song, “Baby Elephant Walk.”

Finn pledges his devotion to Sue and reassures her in the words of Johnny Cash in “I Walk The Line”,

“As sure as night is dark and day is light, 

I keep you on my mind both day and night.

And happiness I’ve known proves that it’s right,

Because you’re mine, I walk the line.”

All of us need someone to watch over us from above and provide us with hope, comfort and encouragement, and so do they. This is expressed brilliantly by Rodgers and Hammerstein in their unforgettable musical “Carousel”-

“When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high,

And don’t be afraid of the dark.

At the end of storm is a golden sky, and the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain,

Tho’ your dreams be tossed and blown, walk on, walk on,

With hope in your heart and you’ll never walk alone,

You’ll never walk alone.”

P.S. Aside from this story, I simply have to include a bittersweet song of old, “Walkin’ To Missouri” with somewhat ‘punny’ lyrics warning one not to be profligate and live too high a life but to be kind to someone who does and falls into bad times..

“Poor little robin, walkin’, walkin’, walkin’ to Missouri, he can’t afford to fly.

Got a penny for, a poor little robin, walkin, walkin’, walkin’ to Missouri, got a teardrop in his eye….

He flew from his old Missouri home, he fell right into the city ways….”

Then he falls in love with ‘a real bird of paradise’ who breaks his heart and finally,

“His dreams are battered, his feathers bent, now he hasn’t got a cent….

So if he ever walks up to you, please throw him a crumb or two,

‘Cause you could have made the same mistake.”

7 WEEKS IN USA

 

Seven lonely days make one lonely week, sang Georgia Gibbs long ago. But Akhila and I have just returned after 49 days of lots of company making seven entertaining weeks in the USA. Initially, there was a bit of reluctance to go mainly because of the long flight; we are getting a bit old for it. Then Akhila’s motherly instinct kicked in. Ruchir has recently acquired an apartment in Miami and two new maid-cum-cooks, one Nepali and the other Brazilian, in New York and Miami respectively. Akhila was keen to fine-tune their Indian culinary skills so that they could provide Ruchir with dishes of his choice. 

In New York, our social life kickstarted within a day of our arrival with a dinner at the Knickerbocker Club hosted by Frank Wisner, US Ambassador to India in mid-90s, and his partner, Judy. Frank and I had played a lot of golf together when he was in Delhi and have kept in touch largely through Ruchir who Frank is very fond of. I recounted the story of how I first came across the word ‘knickerbocker’. Back in Jaipur, there is a restaurant called ‘Niro’s’ which had just opened in my school days in early ‘50s. It had a good selection of ice creams and my favourite was a sundae called ‘Knickerbocker Glory’. Recently on a trip to Jaipur, I visited the restaurant and inquired whether they still had it on their a la carte. To my delight, the waiter said yes and produced it alongwith another survival from the past, ‘Honeymoon Special’!

That weekend, there was a big dinner by the US-Indian Business Council at the Natural History Museum for which we got invited with Ruchir. The dinner was to felicitate Arvind Krishna on becoming the CEO of IBM. With Arvind we have a double connection. His father, Maj Gen Vinod Krishna, and I were together on the staff at DSSC Welington where I was the Golf Captain and Vinod, a senior member of the team. Thereafter, both of us landed up in Delhi after retirement and met regularly at the Army Golf Course. Arvind’s wife, Sonia, is the daughter of a very dear friend and naval colleague, Late Cmde PK (Pinky) Jain. It was a pleasure meeting them at the dinner where Sonia told us that her mother, Poonam, and younger sister, Radhika, were expected from India a few weeks later. 9th July, two days before our planned departure, was booked for a lunch at their home in Ridgefield, Connecticut and the get-together did take place.

Another naval lady, Tinku Jain, daughter of Vice Adm ‘Tony’ Jain and wife of Ajit Jain of Berkshire Hathaway fame, was also present at the US-Indo dinner and it was nice to chat about her father and the good old naval days.

Shalabh, Akhila’s nephew and a few friends of Ruchir visited and kept us busy. We saw Tom Cruise’s Top Gun Maverick on IMAX screen. The flying scenes were outstanding but the movie lacked the emotional appeal of the first film which had attracted many young men to join naval aviation and buy Ray-Ban Aviator sunglasses. A couple of Sunday brunches later, it was time to fly to Miami.

Ruchir had accompanied us for the weekend and took us to his apartment in The Setai on South Beach. It was love at first sight with the spectacular view of the sea from the apartment’s balcony. South Beach is a wonderful location and although off season, people were still thronging the beach and music could be heard from The Setai’s beachside Ocean Grill restaurant and other nearby hotels all the time. It seems as if Miamians have just two things to do: sunbathing and swimming in the daytime and partying at night.

The day after our arrival, the third young naval lady that we know in the US, Arati, daughter of dear friends Kailash and Kumud Kohli, came for dinner with her husband, another Ravi also with a naval background being the son of Late Admiral Batta. Arati and Ravi have been well settled in Miami for a number of years and have acquired golfing genes from their respective fathers and outdriven them!

We had learnt in Delhi that Kailash and Kumud had also planned a trip to Miami and we extended our stay so that we could meet them. One afternoon, they came for lunch with us and a couple of days later, Arati took us all for lunch at her lush green Golf Club. Arati and Ravi have a nice, sprawling house at Golden Beach Drive, about 45 minutes north of our place but interestingly, on the same road, Collins Avenue.

Meanwhile, Ruchir had returned to NYC and Akhila and I were by ourselves in Miami for about 10 days. We made a road trip to the famous Florida Keys all the way to Key West, a distance of over 150 miles one way. It was a thrilling and unique experience driving from one Key to another connected by narrow bridges with miles and miles of nothing but sea on either side. If you took your eye away from the road, you felt that you were actually sailing. 

The first island that we passed, Key Largo, was the largest with a length of 30 miles and a width of half a mile. And then on to Islamorada, Marathon, Big Pine Key and finally Key West.

We were intrigued by the term ‘key’ till we learnt that it is derived from the Spanish word ‘caye’ meaning small island. Another interesting information we gathered was that most of the sand on beaches of Key West is not natural but shipped from the Caribbean.

The highlight was a visit to what is known as the ‘Southernmost Point of the Continent of USA’ marked by a colourful landmark buoy with an endless queue of people getting photographed. We cheated by having ours taken from the side. This point is 90 miles from Cuba and people say that on a clear night, you can see the lights of Havana. But realists dismiss that as folklore as the distance is too long over the sea given the curvature of the earth. We couldn’t test it ourselves as we had to take the long drive back. Perhaps just as well as I read that Key West is one of 10 top haunted cities in the US!

We also visited the Ernest Hemingway house where the famous writer lived in the ‘30s and wrote ‘The Snows Of Kilimanjaro’ and ‘Green Hills Of Africa’.

Back in Miami, there was a lot of sightseeing to do but there were two places we particularly liked. The Design District is full of luxury shops with the best known  brands of the world. Murals on the walls are brilliant particularly at the Wynwood Walls which is a museum of murals as well as some exclusive  photographs of murals from abroad.

For us, the top of the pops was Little Havana and Calle Ocho, a small street full of shops, cafes and nightclubs. At one end of the street is the Bay of Pigs Memorial remembering the many Cubans who lost their lives in the 1961 failed attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro. Moving on, there is Domino Park where people sit down and play that game. The Tower Theatre built in 1926 is still going strong and on the day of our visit, we saw a huge crowd waiting to move in for the premiere of the latest version of ‘The Father Of The Bride’, the story of which has a Cuban background and scenes of Calle Ocho. 

Both sides of the pavement in Calle Ocho are known as ‘Walk Of Fame’ and have Sidewalk Stars honouring famous Cuban and Latin American entertainment superstars. I was thrilled to see the two belonging to my favourite singers, Julio Iglesias and Gloria Estefan. 

There are a number of shops with workers preparing hand rolled cigars right in front of you. We sat down for drinks and I had a signature Mojito with Cuban Rum. We visited the Azucar shop specializing in Cuban flavoured ice creams followed by coffee at La Colada which claims to be ‘The House Of Cuban Coffee’. Finally, we listened to some Latin American music at the famous nightclub ‘Ball Of Chain’ before reluctantly calling it a night.

In spare time at the apartment, Akhila tutored Jane, the Brazilian, on many recipes which the latter wrote down conscientiously in her book. She prepared quite a few for us to taste and Akhila gave her high marks for proficiency and eagerness to learn.

That done, we returned to New York for the remainder of our trip.

Ruchir organised a visit to the NY Metropolitan Museum where he knows Navina Haidar, Chief Curator of Islamic Art. The collection of items is fabulous and Navina explained the history and significance of the important items in great detail. Incidentally, she is the daughter of Salman Haidar, the Indian Foreign Secretary in the late '90s.

Opposite the Met on the other side of 5th Avenue, is the Neue Galerie displaying German and Austrian paintings. It also houses the popular Cafe Sabarsky the Chocolate cake and Viennese coffee of which we can personally recommend.

Shalabh organised a karaoke session at his place where even I sang two Pankaj Mullick songs after I don’t know how long!

Ruchir’s friend and ex-colleague, Manju Juneja, invited us for lunch at Hudson National Golf Club, about an hour’s drive from the city. The surroundings are beautiful with the Clubhouse overlooking Hudson River and we even hit a few balls at the practice range.

We had a Sunday brunch at the Peak Restaurant located on the 101st floor of Hudson Yards which has an observation deck for a super aerial view of New York and beyond. That building, as indeed some others, now looms over the Empire State, at one time the tallest building in the world.

We hosted a family dinner which included Anjula, my cousin, also on a visit to NYC, along with her daughter Aadya, my nephew Zubin and his wife, Ayang who we met for the first time, my nieces Shreya and Shaumyika, the latter with her husband Ben. It was great to meet so many of the family while still missing for one reason or another, my cousin Navin and his wife Pamela, Aadya’s husband Mike, and Shreya’s husband,Will,

Then there was the 4th July. It is, of course, the American Independence Day but holds special importance for us being Akhila’s birthday. Akhila was insisting on a private lunch just with the three of us, so Ruchir said we would go to a place in New Jersey. After the experience of the ‘surprise’ party on our 50th wedding anniversary, it was no surprise that on arrival at Alpine Marina, we were greeted by Akhila’s Bijnor friend now settled in New Jersey, Vijay, and her husband Raj, Rup Swarup, the doctor who helped me so much during my illness in 2012 and became a family friend thereafter, and his wife Namrata, Shalabh with his wife Graziella and children Divya and Devan, and Tinku Jain. We were escorted to a yacht and sailed for a cruise down the Hudson River to the Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge and disembarked at the Chelsea Piers. In between, there was a sumptuous lunch with dancing chiefly on Kishore Kumar-Amitabh Bachchan songs.

All too soon, 49 days came to an end and we are back in Dilli.

FATHER OF THE BRIDE 2022

 

Every now and then, a movie comes which pleasantly surprises and emotionally stirs one. After “The Last Letter From Your Lover”, the new 2022 movie “Father Of The Bride” did that to me.

I hadn’t even heard of the third remake of this film till Akhila and I visited ‘Little Havana’ in Miami. There we saw a big crowd of well-dressed Latin Americans outside a movie theatre next to the Domino Park named after that game which Cubans sit down and play there.  On inquiring, we were told that they were waiting for the theatre to open for the premiere of “Father Of The Bride”. 

Back home after a round of Calle Ocho, the main street of Little Havana with its famous nightclub ‘Ball and Chain’, cigar rolling shops, and a café called ‘La Colada’ which specializes in Cuban coffee, I read on the internet that the film had been remade for the third time centering on a Cuban family in USA.

My interest in the movie was ignited and on return to New York, I discovered that it was available on TV on HBO and one evening, we sat down to watch it. Soon after the start, we were delighted to see scenes of Domino Park and Calle Ocho with its Ball of Chain and Tower Theatre where the premiere had taken place. No wonder the premiere had attracted a large crowd as it must have included many Cubans and others who had shops and cafes in Little Havana. Otherwise too, the movie has many scenes of Miami and it was great to see on the screen all the places we had just visited a few days ago- the Design District famous for its luxury shops and the colourful murals and paintings in Wynwood Walls, Biltmore and Shelborne Hotels and the man-made Star Island in Biscayne Bay. In fact, I read somewhere that the film was planned as a tribute to Miami.

One wondered whether the third remake would look hackneyed but the Director and the Scriptwriter have done a wonderful job in recasting the story to give it an original touch. Only the central theme of the parents being caught totally by surprise by their daughter’s sudden news of engagement and the father’s initial resistance are common to the previous two movies. An new twist to the story is provided by the film beginning with the parents at a marriage counselor’s office and the mother insisting that they break the news of their decision to divorce immediately on arrival of their daughter. So there are two simultaneous themes- the engagement and wedding of the daughter and the mother’s insistence to proceed with the divorce proceedings regardless. How the father copes with the two deeply emotional issues is told in a touching way that tugs at one’s heartstrings and yet the movie never gets maudlin but retains its light and breezy tempo.

An added nostalgic flavor is provided by a short clip of Ingrid Bergman in ‘Casablanca’ urging the pianist to “Sing it, Sam” which he does with the timeless classic ‘As time goes by’.

The cast of the film is appropriately Latino. The bewildered and bothered father and husband, Billy Herera, is played by the well-known Andy Garcia famous for his role in ‘GodfatherIII’. He brings out the turmoil in his mind and heart superbly. The mother and wife, Ingrid, determined to go ahead with the divorce soonest, is played competently by Gloria Estefan who is more  known for her singing. Remember her great hits ‘Conga’ which is ranked as the 11th greatest Latin pop song of all time, and ‘Rhythm Is Gonna Get You’? She is a Cuban, a 7-time Grammy winner, and has a star with her name on the Walk Of Fame at Calle Ocho. Puerto Rican actress Adria Arjona, plays the fiercely independent daughter, Sofia, who loves her father but must have her way to get what she wants. The fiancée, Adan Castillo, is a soft-spoken guy very much in love with Sofia but desires to earn Billy’s approval and blessings first. He is a Mexican as is the actor Diego Boneta who plays the role.

A movie I truly loved. Three takeaways for old men of my generation:- 

Decreasing relevance,

Expected presence,

Increasing acquiescence.

TEN YEARS AFTER

Ten years ago on this day, I underwent a delicate surgery. The next year, I recorded words of appreciation and gratitude for my dear doctor. I stumbled upon it while going through my files and thought I should put it on my blog. So here it is.

"We had come to visit our son in New York last year when in very early hours of 21 June 2012, I suddenly fainted and was taken to St. Luke’s Roosevelt (now Mt. Sinai) Hospital. It was diagnosed that I had suffered a ‘ruptured left MCA aneurysm’ and was immediately operated upon and admitted in the ICU ward. There I was put under the overall care of Dr. Rup Swarup.

Right from the start, Dr. Swarup took personal care to ensure my speedy recovery and left no stone unturned to make me comfortable and at home. He visited me a number of times every day to ensure my well-being. 

A few days later, it was discovered that I was suffering from Hydrocephalus. The neurosurgeon who had operated upon me felt that I should undergo a shunt implant. Dr. Swarup was of the view that we should wait and watch rather than hurry to put a foreign body in my brain. The neurosurgeon was insistent but Dr. Swarup took personal responsibility for my case and deferred the implant. Meanwhile, he referred me to another neurosurgeon, Dr. Phil Steig at Cornell Weiss, who agreed with Dr. Swarup and suggested to wait and watch. After a fortnight, it was found that the hydrocephalus had subsided and the shunt was not required. The post-operative angiogram revealed that a small residual remained for which Dr. Steig advised a review after six months. I was then allowed to return home to New Delhi.

One year has passed and I have recently had a follow-up examination which showed that I have made a fair recovery and the residual has not grown.

During this period, Dr. Swarup visited Delhi twice and found time to come and see me and inquire after my welfare. On my return to New York for the check-up, he has gone out of his way to organize the examinations and taken personal interest in the results. As regards the residual, Dr. Steig suggested another angiogram 2-3 years hence as he was doubtful that a non-invasive MRI would reveal the residual aneurysm. Dr. Swarup took the stand that if the MRI showed the residual, it could be watched with further MRIs thus avoiding the invasive and radioactive angiogram. Accordingly, an MRI was done which showed the residual thus proving Dr. Swarup right.

My experience with Dr. Swarup has been most satisfying. His advice and diagnosis have always been spot-on. When convinced of his position, he has not hesitated to assert himself by overruling his colleagues. He has prevented my undergoing a shunt implant which I know from some friends’ cases can turn out to be persistently troublesome.

Dr. Swarup’s care, personal involvement and follow-up have been exceptional and well beyond what could be expected from a busy doctor. 

I consider myself fortunate to have been his patient."

Subsequent MRIs have shown that the residual exists no longer.

Tailpiece: Someone told me, "You live in song." Yes, I happily do. And the day makes me recall the musical group 'Ten Years After' singing at Woodstock in 1969, "I'm Going Home."