A BRIEF SPELL AT ARMY HEADQUARTERS

On arrival in Delhi mid-March 1980, we were put up in a Mess in Delhi Cantt. The next day I proudly put on my new pair of Captain's stripes and reported to Brigadier Arjun Verma, Director Signals Intelligence (DSI) in Army HQ. This was the fifth time I was joining an inter-service organisation, at least one in each rank. As a Lieutenant, I had served in the National Defence Academy followed by the National Defence College, as a Lt Cdr attended the Staff College at the DSSC Wellington and then joined the staff there later as a Cdr, and now, as a Captain,  I was in the SI Directorate manned by personnel from the Army, the Navy and the Air Force. The work was interesting with daily afternoon briefings with uptodate inputs from units of the three services. Brig Verma was a fine person to serve under and for colleagues, I was glad to have Lt Col Satyendra Sain, my coursemate and good friend back from the NDA days when we were together as cadets.

On the home front, although the Cantt Mess was good accommodation, it was far off and lonely and soon we shifted to one of the outhouses in Kotah House. I was on the lookout for something better and heard that the government was considering allotting flats in a newly developed colony called Pragati Vihar, just off Lodi Road, to the Defence Services. The Pragati Vihar complex was constructed for a UNDP conference and the fully furnished accommodation consisted of a bedroom with attached bathroom, a living-cum dining room, a kitchen and a balcony. To top it all, the complex was readied only after the conference was over and so the first allottees would walk into a maiden apartment with brand new furniture!

I was hooked on to the idea of moving in there and traced the file in the Ministry of Works and Housing. To expedite matters, I personally took the file from official to official until the final approval and handed it over to the Central Administrative Officer who was responsible for allotting the apartments. Thus I became the first defence services officer to be allotted and move to an apartment in Pragati Vihar.

It was worth the effort and we spent a very comfortable and happy ten months there before we were allotted our proper entitled accommodation. My favourite spot was the balcony from where we watched the coming up of the Nehru Stadium being built for the 1982 Asiad Games. In those pre-TV days, the balcony provided a sound place to listen to the radio and I remember sitting late into the night following the epic Wimbledon '80 final between Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe which the former won after a 5-set see-saw battle..

Ruchir was able to get admission in the nearby Delhi Public School, Mathura Road, and Shumita in the Naval Public School, Chanakyapuri, both close to Pragati Vihar, and life settled into a comfortable routine. 

One aspect of my appointment was the satisfaction of 'the happy wanderer' spirit in me by extensive touring of North India. But for that, this salty seadog would never have been able to see exotic places like Dalhousie, Kud, Patnitop and Dharamshala, home to the Dalai Lama.

I was in fact looking forward to see a lot more of India when my plans were aborted by an early and unexpected end to my tenure as DDSI in less than a year. I received transfer orders to move as Director Naval Signals (DNS), Naval HQ. Cmde L Ramdas, then DNS, was being promoted to Rear Admiral and a replacement was needed. DNS was a senior appointment generally for Commodores and there were many senior Communicators who could be considered whereas I was just a junior acting Captain. In due course of time, I learnt the background story behind my appointment. The Personnel Directorate put up the name of a Commodore which was not acceptable to the CNS, Admiral Ronnie Pereira. Hoping to get their man accepted, the Chief of Personnel told the CNS that no suitable person was available and if they had to nominate someone else, they would have to dig deep down to Ravi Sharma. Ronnie P, who knew me well as I had been his Fleet Communication Officer when he commanded the Eastern Fleet, said fine, go get him! And so I moved to become the juniormost Director in the NHQ.

 

A SHORT MUSICAL BLAST FROM THE PAST

What is this thing called 'memory'? How is it that something which you haven't thought of in decades, suddenly comes to the fore from the deepest recesses of your mind and won't go away! 

This happens to me often particularly in case of music. For some time now, I have been thinking of writing about my favourite musicals. And today, a song I had almost forgotten has been haunting me since I woke up. So without waiting for the planned piece, let me put my mind at rest by writing about it.

The song is from the musical movie 'The Student Prince' which I saw in 1954. The story is of a brash German prince studying in Heidelberg University who falls in love with a barmaid and has to make the difficult choice between his love and his royal duties. The song is sung in a bar by the prince (played by Edmund Purdom with the dubbed voice of Mario Lanza) and his friends waving huge steins frothing with beer. It is appropriately called 'The Drinking Song' and its lyrics include-

'Drink! Drink! Let the toast start,

May young hearts never part,

Drink! Drink! Drink! Let every true lover salute his sweetheart,

Let's drink!'

It was not the beer but the rollicking way in which the song was sung that made it memorable for me- 67 years and the scene is vividly implanted in my brain. As for beer, it would still be many years after the movie that I would first drink it! And Heidelberg is a place I have been wanting to visit ever since but remains a 'Song Unfulfilled'!

Now that memory has been raked, I might as well add a few more from the archives lurking at the back of my mind. In one of his early visits to the UK, Vinnie Mama saw the musical 'Carousel' and brought back its long playing disc. He told me the story in brief and made me listen to the record. I was immediately touched by the song 'If I Loved You' which is sung by the characters Billy and Jenny talking about what life would be like if they were in love while shying away from the fact that they are actually falling for each other. The song is repeated later by the dead Billy on his visit from heaven to earth to see his daughter. Some lyrics,

'If I loved you, time and again I would try to say, all I'd want you to know,

If I loved you, words wouldn't come in an easy way, round in circles I'd go,

Longing to tell you but afraid and shy,

I'd let my golden chances pass me by,

Soon you'd leave me, off you would go in the midst of day, 

Never never to know, how I loved you,

If I loved you!'

'Carousel' was the second musical play of Rodgers and Hammerstein which made its debut on Broadway in 1945. Time magazine called it the best musical of the 20th century and Richard Rodgers himself said it was his top favourite. My dream to see it was realised in 2018 when I saw its revival on Broadway..

Vinnie Mama was also responsible for my introduction to 'Some Enchanted Evening' through another record he brought from the UK in early '50s. It was the original version by Ezio Pinza from the Broadway play of 1949, 'South Pacific'. I was familiar with the song long before I saw the movie of 1958. The lyrics are, to borrow from the song's title, enchanting. Sound advice to a lovestruck fellow though in the musical, the song is sung by the character for himself on seeing a pretty stranger across the room-

'Some enchanted evening, when you find your true love,

When you hear her call you across a crowded room, 

Then fly to her side and make her your own, 

Or all through your life, you may dream all alone.

Once you have found her, never let her go.

Once you have found her, NE-VER LET HER GO....'

Again, I was lucky to see its revival on Broadway in 2010. 

The floodgates of memorable songs are opening and so many are whirring in my mind: 'Edelweiss', 'Gigi', 'Younger Than Springtime', 'I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face'.... and ‘Memory’, a classic itself. Before I get swamped, I must close after acknowledging that I consider myself to be blessed to have grown up hearing such beautiful songs. I can't do better than end with words from a song in 'The Sound Of Music':

'.... somewhere in my youth or childhood,

I must have done something good'.

SALUBRIOUS WELLINGTON II

 

We reached Wellington mid-March 1978 after a delightful ride in the toy train winding its way up the Nilgiris through lush green tea gardens. While taking in the scene, my mind dwelt on the twist in the tale of the last few years. Upto July ’73, it had been bluntly conveyed to me by the Personnel branch in NHQ that I had no chance of being selected to do the Defence Services Staff College (DSSC) Course. Now, within four years, not only had I successfully completed the Course but was going to be on the Staff training future Admirals (Arun Prakash and Sureesh 'Faggy' Mehta went on to become Navy Chiefs and Raju Bharathan, Vice Chief). It is strange how just an individual can mar or make one's career. My first OIC in Signal School had all but written my naval career off while Rear Admiral Mohan Grewal resurrected me as soon as he became Assistant Chief of Personnel. Truly, 'the moving finger..having writ' in my favour, had moved on and neither the OIC's ‘piety nor wit…nor tears could wash out a word of it'!

It also felt satisfying in another way: It marked my 100% record of return on the staff of an institution where I had undergone training or a course. I had gone back to NDA as a Divisional Officer, Signal School as an instructor and now as Directing Staff at the DSSC. Back in school, old Father Mackessack had suggested that I should become a teacher!

We settled down in our allotted accommodation which was a first floor flat in the 3-storeyed New Nilamber complex on top of a hill. We had a spacious balcony and two terraces overlooking tea gardens and the scenic golf course. For neighbours, we had Wg Cdr Jain on the top floor and, on the ground floor, Lt Col Negi who was soon replaced by Lt Col Vijay Berry, my course and squadron mate from NDA and, of course, a good friend. His wife Kiran and Akhila got on very well too. Kailash and Kumud Kohli were also within hailing distance and on free evenings, either they were at our place for a drink or we at theirs.

The Staff College had a unique system named ‘Protocol Seniority’ for allocation of duties. Service seniority was put aside and one started from the bottom of the ladder according to the date of reporting at the College. The junior five tended to the 5 syndicates the students were divided in while the elite top 4 coordinated the programme, exercises, solutions etc. You moved one up as soon as someone got transferred and the newcomer took the lowest rung. Thus when I reported, I took the bottom spot looking after the fifth syndicate.

This protocol seniority business led to a controversial situation. The CNS was to visit for his annual lecture and a group photograph was planned for all naval officers. The CNS, the Chief Instructor (CI) (Navy) and the Directing Staff (DS) were to be seated with the students standing. The CI (Navy) held a meeting with the DS to discuss CNS’s programme. Kailash Kohli and I raised a point that protocol seniority was fine for day to day working but when it came to an official photograph with the CNS, we should be seated in order of our naval seniority. This was met with opposition from the elite who considered protocol seniority to be sacrosanct. The issue had the CI in a quandary who said he would give his decision later. When we went down for the photograph, we asked the CI for his decision. His reply, “Sit as you like!” There was a hush in which I, the senior most, made my way to the chair next to the CNS, Kailash next to the CI and everyone else took up his seat in order of naval seniority.

I settled down to the main task of teaching or directing which was really a more appropriate term. I found it very interesting and engage with the students, exciting. Out of working hours, there was a lot of free time except when we had to go through the students’ sometimes lengthy written solutions. The Wellington golf course goes all around the College and is so accessible that one could just walk to it whenever free. Kailash and I became permanent partners and our combination quite formidable. We easily made the DSSC team which itself was unbeatable. In 1979, the Commandant, Maj Gen Mohinder Singh, himself a good golfer, decided to appoint me the Golf Captain of the DSSC team and that year, the DSSC team won all the tournaments that we took part in.

Ruchir began his formal education in the Wellington School while Shumita was put in the nursery. With good domestic staff available, the wives had plenty of time to engage in hobbies. Akhila took up painting and some of her works adorn the walls in our Jaipur house. DSSC used to screen movies on weekends but to see the latest, we had to drive to Ooty half an hour away. One of the top releases of that time was Saturday Night Fever which had the whole College rushing to Ooty. Musicwise, Boney M was the rage and we were all singing and dancing to Daddy Cool, Ma Baker, Rasputin ('Oh those Russians!') and Rivers Of Babylon.

The Army frowned upon social interaction between the DS and the students but the Navy allowed us to mix freely. One incident best illustrates this. When the ’79 course had just started, a bachelor student, Neville Mehta, came upto me and said he would like to call on us in the evening. I asked him to come home for a drink at 7 pm.  At the appointed time, the bell rang and when I opened the door, I saw Neville standing there with the entire syndicate and their wives! We were surprised but happy to welcome them. Fortunately, the bar was well stocked and our cook, Elizabeth, proved equal to the task by quickly cooking delicious snacks for all. In fact, we partied till the early hours of the morning and the snacks kept on coming.

Mid-’79 we went on an exchange visit to Munnar where DSSC teams played against the High Range Club in golf, tennis and squash. I was out on the golf course, Akhila was playing cards with the ladies and the children were keeping busy by themselves. Suddenly, a planter came running up to me panting and breathless and told me that my son had drunk a glassful of gin. I charged to the bar and found Ruchir sitting and looking quite sober with half a bottle of gin and an empty glass next to him. I asked him if he had had a drink. He said he had poured himself a glass from the bottle, taken a sip, found its taste terrible and had emptied it in a flower pot nearby. And would I please get him some coke! Smart thinking by a 5-year old and a crisis averted. I wonder if this experience left such a bitter taste in his mouth that he remains a teetotaller to this day!

Towards the end of the year, the Director of Personnel from NHQ visited us. He gave me the good news of my having cleared the board for promotion to the rank of Captain. Winter break came and I took some leave and we went off to Jaipur. Earlier, I had sold off my Standard Herald which had been my reliable steed for 11 years but now its parts had started coming apart. On one occasion, when we heard a noise, we stopped to check and found it was from the horn, only it was not its normal sound but that of its rolling on the road! Luckily, I found a ready buyer in my friend and fellow DS, Jhangoo Aga, who wanted a car for his father for short runs. He paid me Rs. 4250 and drove it to Bombay. He was so happy with the smooth run that he sent me an additional cheque for Rs. 250. 

For ourselves, I bought a Fiat in Jaipur and drove it all the way to Wellington. Akhila, Ruchir and Shumita were, of course, with me and Mummy insisted on accompanying us offering to drive whenever I was tired. She was a great help though I spared her any driving. To avoid the dark on the road, we made stops at Udaipur, Baroda, Bombay, Belgaum, Bangalore and the Mudumalai game sanctuary where we spent the new year’s eve. On 01 January, we went around the sanctuary on an elephant which remains my one and only elephant ride to this day. In the afternoon, we went around again but this time in my car. We saw precious little wildlife but at one point deep in the jungle, about 15 men on horseback all dressed in black with faces covered by the bottom ends of their turbans, crossed ahead of us. On our return to our hotel, we inquired from the staff who those people could be. The answer, "Probably some dacoits!" Thanks for telling us now!

The drive from Jaipur to Wellington was troublefree with nary a puncture. Just as well as I had discovered halfway during the trip that there was no jack in the car! Looking back, it seems almost foolhardy to have undertaken the long road journey with two ladies and two kids 5 and 3. But then, my self-confidence in those days was high contrary to what I feel now in old age!

Meanwhile, my marching orders had come appointing me as Deputy Director (Navy) in the Signals Directorate, Army Headquarters, in the rank of Captain, in March ’80.  So ended two wonderful years of my second spell in salubrious Wellington.

STRANGE REFLECTION

 

I don’t like looking in the mirror anymore. Just as Mary Hopkin sang in ‘Those Were The Days’, in the glass I see a strange reflection wondering if that man is really me?

I have read that it is a biological fact that as a person grows older, the ears and the nose keep growing while the eyes retain their original size and shape. Wholly true in my case. My ears are way over their original size and the lobes are expanding and hanging low. As far as the nose is concerned, gone is the medium sized finely chiseled one of youthful days and I now have a bigger one with the tip bloated like a distorted can past its sell by date. 

The hairline is receding and the hair are scarce. While having a haircut the other day, in order to get my money’s worth, I told the barber, ‘Upar se halka karna’. He made some clipping noises with the scissors and stopped. I said, ‘Kya ho gaya, kyon nahi kat rahe?’ The barber replied simply, ‘Sahib, kya katoon. Udhar to kuch hai hi nahin’. Rude chap, no tips and I am changing him.

The eyes have retained their size. But with longer ears, big, blunt nose and little hair on top, it looks as if they have become smaller. Looking at this reflection, I cannot believe that in my youth, people could even in a joke say that I resembled a Dirk Bogarde or a Marcello Mastroianni! 

Talking of hair, giving up on my head, they have found fertile ground in my ears and nostrils. As I have stopped shaving everyday in order to minimize mirror time, I often look like a bear, grisly, not teddy.

Thank God the children have grown up otherwise they would say as in Harry Belafonte’s song,   ‘Mama, look a boo boo, they shout,                                                                                                     Their mother told them shut up your mout’                                                                                               That is your daddy, oh no,                                                                                                                           My daddy can’t be ugly so.                                                                                                                           Shut your mouth, go away                                                                                                                       Mama look a boo boo dey’.

Growing old has also resulted in loss of hearing and I get shouted at all the time for not hearing when I can’t! The irony is that whereas I miss normal conversations in which people might say nice things about me, I hear the shouts and curses loud and clear! And now a friend tells me about a new virus ‘Nile’ the symptoms of which include sending blank messages, messages to the wrong person, forgetting attachments, pressing Send instead of Delete and vice versa. This is C-Nile. He also apprised me of its variant in which one does not admit doing the above. That is D-Nile. I warned my friend not to go further down the alphabet lest he catch a more dangerous one.

Nat King Cole is long gone otherwise I would have accosted him for his ‘You will never grow old, while there is love in your heart’. Well, there is love in my heart but I am still growing old!

 

TOP ALL-OUT HINDI COMEDY MOVIES

 

When I came of age to start watching films in the late 1940s, Hindi movies were supposed to be serious stuff. The themes were social or romance heavily loaded with sadness where viewers would be advised to carry large handkerchiefs. Raj Kapoor, arguably the top actor in late ‘40s and ‘50s, was projecting himself as a sad romantic hero trying to keep cheerful in the face of adversity. There was little room for comedy and actors such as Gope, Mukri and Agha were confined to bit roles for temporary relief.

Kishore Kumar made a couple of purely comedic movies in mid-'50s but with little success till ‘Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi’ (CKNG) which was a hit in ’58. But before that, credit must be given to Shammi Kapoor for being the first hero who brought lightheartedness in films with his carefree playboy acts. His early films, ‘Tumsa Nahin Dekha’ in ’57, ‘Dil Deke Dekho’ in ’58, ‘Junglee’ in ’61 and ‘Professor’ in ’62, were all popular hits and had people humming 'Tumsa Nahin Dekha' and screaming 'Yahoo'. I saw all these films in Bombay with my friend and shipmate Jack Suri who perished on Khukri in the ’71 War.

Tragedies were still the order of the day and the biggest of them all was ‘Dil Ek Mandir’ in 1963 which was a huge success. I hated it and it put me off Hindi movies for many years.

It was 10 long years after CKNG  that another all-out comedy was released. The movie was Mehmood’s ‘Padosan’ which revived my interest in Hindi movies. In ‘Padosan’, Masterji (Mehmood) is a South Indian music teacher who falls in love with his pupil Bindu (Saira Banu). Bhola (Sunil Dutt), staying across the street with a singer, Vidyapathi (Kishore Kumar), is Masterji’s rival for Bindu who is tolerating Masterji for the sake of music. Vidyapathi tries to teach Bhola music so that he can win over Bindu but Bhola can't sing for nuts. So to impress Bindu with his singing prowess, Bhola does the lip-syncing from his window while Vidyapathi sings hiding from the back. The song, ‘Meri Samnewali Khidki Mein Ek Chand Sa Mukhra Rehta Hai’, is a sweet, lilting melody and my good friend Aku Roy who was shot in his Alize in the ’71 War, used to hum it all the time. Later in the movie, there is a singing duel from their respective windows between Masterji and Bhola with Vidyapathi providing the background voice as usual. The song is ‘Ek Chatur Naar’ and the long sequence is outrageously funny.

In 1975, Hrishikesh Mukherjee directed ‘Chupke Chupke’, a remarkable comedy with an impressive star cast.  It had Dharmendra, Amitabh Bachchan, Sharmila Tagore, Jaya Bachchan, Om Prakash, David, Asrani and Keshto Mukherjee. The story is full of pranks played by Prof Parimal Tripathi (Dharmendra) who pretends to be a driver, Pyarelal, and Parimal's wife, Sulekha (Sharmila Tagore) at the expense of the latter’s supercilious Jijaji (Om Prakash). Additionally, Parimal prevails upon his friend Sukumar Sinha (Amitabh Bachchan), an English Professor with no knowledge of Botany, to pretend to be Parimal and teach Botany to Vasudha (Jaya Bachchan), sister-in-law of Parimal’s friend Srivastava (Asrani). Vasudha keeps asking Sukumar questions on Botany and the latter keeps dodging them and steering the conversation towards English providing for rib-tickling merriment.

Four years later, Hrishikesh Mukherjee directed another super comedy ‘Golmaal’.  This has Amol Palekar playing the role of Ramprasad, a modern young man fond of sports and fashionable clothes, finding a job in the trading company of the highly orthodox Bhavani Shankar (Utpal Dutt) who hates modernity, western dresses, sports and considers moustache a must. Ramprasad has to dress and act accordingly. On being seen at a hockey match by Bhavani Shankar, Ram, in shirt and trousers, invents a twin brother, Lucky, who is later hired to teach music to Urmila (Bindiya Goswami), Bhavani Shankar’s daughter. Urmila falls in love with Lucky but dislikes Ram. How Ram navigates his way successfully to win over Bhavani Shankar and Urmila makes for a rollicking comedy. Moustaches play an important part in the movie with Ram having to sport one as himself and be clean shaven as Lucky. Then there is a hilarious scene in which a police official (Om Prakash) mistakes Bhavani Shankar for a ‘wanted’ criminal who doesn’t have a moustache but Bhavani does which the policeman considers fake and tries to pluck it off.

Next we come to ‘Chashme Buddoor’ released in ’81. Siddharth (Farooq Sheikh), Omi (Rakesh Bedi) and Jai or Jomo (Ravi Baswani) are three college students staying together in Delhi. Siddharth is a sober guy while the other two are always looking for fun. Omi and Jomo come across Neha (Deepti Naval) and try to get fresh with her but are ticked off shamefully. Neha is a salesgirl selling a detergent called Chamko and visits the boys’ apartment as part of her rounds. She is received by Siddharth whereas the other two hide themselves. Siddharth and Neha, called Miss Chamko by the former, develop a liking for each other whereas the other two boys, seeking revenge for being shamed, are determined to separate them. The three, fond of smoking, are in heavy debt of a local paanwala, Lallan Miya (Saeed Jaffrey), who chases them for his money. Saeed Jaffrey’s act as Lallan Miya is outstanding. To acquire their mannerisms and lingo, Saeed Jaffrey is said to have met around 50 paanwalas in Chandni Chowk. Finally when they were shooting a scene of the paan shop in Nizamuddin, a passerby went up to Saeed Jaffrey to make him a paan! 

Another great comedy followed the next year. ‘Angoor’ has a script by Gulzar  based on a Bengali novel by Vidyasagar which in turn is based on Shakespeare’s ‘A Comedy of Errors’. Raj Tilak (Utpal Dutt) and his wife (Shammi) have a set of twins and as they are identical, the parents decide to give them the same name, Ashok, both played by Sanjeev Kumar. Raj and his wife also decide to adopt another set of identical twins both named Bahadur (Deven Verma). An accident while on a trip separates the family with one set of twins with Raj and the other with his wife. Years later, all of them find themselves in the same city with neither set aware of the other. The identity problems have the families and others including the police completely baffled and make for wholesome comedy.

Then in 1983 came a film which, if one were to attempt grading, would vie for the top spot. ‘Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron’ is a satire on corruption in politics, construction and journalism. Naseeruddin Shah and Ravi Baswani are cast in the role of two photographers who are hired by a journal to expose the nexus between the Municipal Commissioner (Satish Shah) and the builder (Pankaj Kapoor). The photographers engage the services of another corrupt builder (Om Puri) to assist them. The final sequence which is the staging of Mahabharat in which the two photographers, the builder and the corpse of the Commissioner get mixed up, and Mahabharat itself gets mixed up with Anarkali with the corpse propped up as the heroine, is unbelievably funny. The major characters including Satish Shah as the corpse are truly outstanding.

Next on the list is ‘Andaz Apna Apna’ in 1994. The story is a complex mix in which two clever boys, Amar (Aamir Khan) and Prem (Salman Khan), aim to come by easy money by marrying a rich girl. They chance upon Karishma (Raveena Tandon), heiress to the wealth of Ram (Paresh Rawal), and her secretary Raveena (Karisma Kapoor). Ram has a crook of a brother, Teja (Paresh Rawal’s dual role) who owes a lot of money to Gogo (Shakti Kapoor), a crime master. To accomplish their aim, Amar and Prem assume fake identities, Raveena and Karishma pretend to be the other in order to find true love and Gogo makes plans and threats to recover his money. Mistaken identities again lead to funny situations much to the delight of viewers. 

We then had ‘Hungama’ released in 2003. The plot has Radheshyam Tiwari (Paresh Rawal) as a rich man who shifts from his village to his house in Bombay which his caretaker had been letting out on the sly to one Anil (Sanjay Narvekar). A young girl, Anjali (Rimi Sen), comes to Bombay looking for a job and goes to Radheshyam’s house where she meets an electronics dealer Jeetu (Akshaye Khanna) who mistakes her for Radheshyam’s daughter and employs her. Hoping to win her love, Jeetu drops her at Radheshyam’s house every day after work and she plays along with the pretence of being Radheshyam's daughter in order to safeguard her job. Radheshyam’s wife (Shoma Anand), also named Anjali, often sees the young girl hurrying away from the house while Radheshyam sees Jeetu who at times visits the house asking for Anjali. Net result, Anjali Tiwari suspects her husband of having an affair with young Anjali while Radhe thinks his wife is involved with Jeetu. In a husband and wife confrontation heightened by the common name Anjali, Paresh Rawal and Shoma Anand are at their screaming best. Side by side, there is the involvement of Kachara Seth ‘Raddiwala’ (Shakti Kapoor) looking to settle scores with Anil who had pretended to be Radhe’s son, and Raja (Rajpal Yadav), a rustic from Anjali’s village who comes to the city hoping to marry her. 

Our list ends with ‘Welcome’ released in 2007. This involves big underworld dons, the brothers Uday (Nana Palekar) with a mercurial temper and Majnu (Anil Kapoor), and RDX (Feroz Khan) and his son Lucky (Shereveer Vakil). Uday is looking for a match for his sister Sanjana (Katrina Kaif) who meets Rajiv (Akshay Kumar), nephew of Dr. Ghungroo (Paresh Rawal). Sanjana and Rajiv fall in love but when Dr. Ghungroo learns that Uday and Majnu are underworld figures, he opposes the match and takes the family away to Sun City, South Africa. Uday, Majnu and Sanjana also fetch up in Sun City and following Uday’s promise to give up crime in favour of acting, all is set for the engagement of the two lovers. Enter RDX and Lucky, an accidental shooting and misperceptions, and the whole lot land up in a cabin precariously perched on a cliff where even the slightest movement inside would result in the cabin hurtling down the valley. The tense goings-on inside the cabin keep the audience laughing and at their seats' edges.

This list is the joint effort of Akhila and me. Limiting an all-time list of comedies to a small number is not easy. Upto the ‘70s, there were not too many comedies but from ‘80s onwards, comedy became a popular genre and the numbers are large. One could argue that Namak Halal, Chachi 420, Munnabhai MBBS and 3 Idiots deserve to be included. No quarrel with that and they do get our honourable mention!

 

MY 9 TOP ROMANTIC MOVIES 1953-70

The decade of ‘50s when I entered and crossed my teens, and the ‘60s, my years of youth, were great years for romantic movies. Here are my top nine.

Before I get on with that, I must mention two exceptional movies from earlier years. The first is ‘Gone With The Wind’, the 1939 film starring Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh, adapted from a novel by Margaret Mitchell. This epic movie, four hours long, won 10 Oscars. After pursuing Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh) for many years, Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) finally decides she is not for him just when he seems to have won her over. Rhett’s final line in reply to Scarlett inquiring what will become of her is a classic: ‘Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!’ 

The second one is ‘Casablanca’ released in 1942 with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman playing lead roles of Rick Blaine and Ilsa Lund respectively. Rick loves Ilsa but sacrifices his love to help her and her husband flee from Casablanca to escape the Germans through a subterfuge. Meriting special mention is a beautiful song, “As Time Goes By’, played in Rick’s Café on a request by Ilsa. The song was Ilsa and Rick’s favourite but Rick cannot bear to hear it as it revives painful memories.

On to my nine. To escape the difficult task of ranking them, I shall list them in chronological order. For those of my generation, I hope this will revive many sweet memories.

We start with ‘Roman Holiday’ with Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn. Audrey plays a Princess who on a visit to Rome wants to secretly venture out alone to see the city incognito. She meets an American reporter played by Gregory Peck who discovers who she really is and wants to make money by stealthily getting her photographed and publishing an interview. A whirlwind tour of Rome follows during which they fall in love but, sadly, have to part. The idea of an interview is shelved and all photographs returned to the Princess. The 1953 film   got Audrey an Oscar for Best Actress and instant fame. The story is believed to be loosely based on British Princess Margaret’s Italian adventures.

The next movie is ‘The Last Time I Saw Paris’ released in 1954. It had Elizabeth Taylor and Van Johnson in the lead roles. The latter, playing an American reporter, chances to meet two sisters during World War II victory celebrations in Paris and falls in love with the younger, Liz Taylor. They get married but an unfounded suspicion on the part of the reporter leads to tragic events. The movie has a haunting song of the same name playing repeatedly. Actually the song which is sung by Odette had already won an Oscar in 1941 in a film called ‘Lady Be Good’ but lends an emotional charm to ‘The Last Time…’

‘Love Is A Many-Splendoured Thing’ is a 1955 movie based on an autobiographical novel by Han Suyin, a Chinese born Eurasian. Jennifer Jones plays Han and Rock Hudson, her love interest Mark Eliot. They meet in Hong Kong and fall in love. This upsets the Chinese community as Han is a widow and Mark, a divorced American, and Han is ostracized by the Chinese. The story is about their love affair in the face of opposition. The theme song by The Four Aces became very popular and also won the Academy Award for the best song in ’55.

We move on to ‘An Affair To Remember’ out in 1957. Cary Grant plays the role of Nickie Ferrante and Deborah Kerr, Terry Mackay. Embarked on an ocean liner, both are with someone else but are attracted to each other. At the end of the cruise, they decide to give themselves space to confirm their true feelings and meet at a time exactly 6 months later on top of the Empire State Building if they still desire each other. Nickie reaches on time but Terry meets with an accident while crossing the road and is unable to make it. Nickie waits till midnight and then gives up thinking Terry does not love him. Terry is permanently wheelchair bound and does not contact Nickie not wanting to tie him up to a handicapped woman. And so the story goes on. The movie also has a beautiful theme song sung by Vic Damone.

In 1961, Audrey Hepburn starred in another all-time hit, ‘Breakfast At Tiffany’s’, which also got her Best Actress Oscar. For a change, this is a comedy ; love is not always a lost cause! It tells the story of a quirky, carefree Manhattan socialite Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) and Paul Varjak (George Peppard), a struggling writer, who after a lot of partying and dating fall for each other. The movie is also special for its music by Henry Mancini who won Oscars for Best Original Score and Best Original Song, ‘Moon River’, specially written for Audrey and sung by her. In those days, I badly wanted to lay my hands on the disc and on a cruise to Singapore, made a beeline to a record shop to buy it. When I played it on the ship, I saw the label which read ‘Made in India’! I didn’t know till then that HMV had started producing English records in our country. 

‘Lovers Must Learn’ or ‘Rome Adventure’ as titled in the US is a 1962 film which may not be on most people’s lists but is my personal favourite. In it, Prudence Bell (Suzanne Pleshette) is an American librarian who after writing a book, ‘Lovers Must Learn’, decides to go to Rome in search of the meaning of love. There she meets an American architect Don Porter (Troy Donahue) and together they tour Rome, Lake Maggiore, the Italian Alps and the Romeo and Juliet balcony in Verona. They fall in love but, of course, there are complications. The outstanding scene in the movie is their visit to a restaurant in Rome in which as soon as they sit, Emilio Pericoli comes on stage and sings the mesmerising song ‘Al Di La’. The couple hold hands, gaze into each others eyes and love is born. The song becomes the theme for the movie and I would include the movie in my romantic list just for the song and the restaurant scene. It must have had a lasting effect on Suzanne and Troy because they actually got married soon after!

Next is ‘Dr. Zhivago’ in 1965 adapted from Boris Pasternak’s book. Pasternak had won the 1958 Nobel Prize for Literature basically for this book which was banned in the USSR and Pasternak could not even accept the Prize. Consequently, the movie had to be filmed in Spain instead of Russia but the scenes are excellent and realistic. The story is a complex one about the love of Dr. Yuri Zhivago (Omar Sharif) and Lara Antipova (Julie Christie). The background is World War I, Russian Revolution and the civil war in Russia. The outstanding music by Maurice Jarre swept all awards and ‘Lara’s Theme’ and the song based on it, ‘Somewhere My Love’, remain haunting to this day. 

Three years later, Franco Zeffirelli directed Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’. The play is, of course, well-known and there had been earlier film versions but where Zeffirelli scored was in using brand new teenage faces, Leonard Whiting and Olivia Hussey, to fit in with the story and the audience lapped it up. The movie was brilliantly directed and felt like a breath of fresh air. The emotional ‘Love Theme From Romeo And Juliet’ was also notable and had two English versions, ‘What Is Youth’ as sung in the movie and a second one called ‘A Time For Us’.

Rounding off my list is the 1970 film, ‘Love Story’, the mother of all tear jerkers! Erich Segal wrote the screenplay and converted it into a novel which became a bestseller. The story is about a couple in their early 20s who fall deeply in love despite different backgrounds. Jenny Cavilleri (Ali MacGraw) and Oliver Barrett IV (Ryan O’Neal) marry in the face of Oliver’s parents’ objections and struggle to continue their education. In the end, it is more a case of ‘Man proposes, God disposes’ than anything else. Apart from their very creditable performances, Ali looks stunningly beautiful (I had a blowup picture of her in my bachelor cabin!) and Ryan refreshingly handsome. The dialogues are super and Jenny’s line, ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry’, an all-time great. In fact, it inspired a whole lot of lines with ‘Love means…..’ various things like ‘sharing a toothbrush’!

The emotional music was composed by Francis Lai who was a runaway winner of the Oscar and other major awards for the Best Original Score. The main song, ‘Where Do I Begin’ was a huge hit particularly the version by Andy Williams.

Before I close, I must mention an unforgettable movie in recent times (relatively speaking as 24 years have gone by already!), ‘Titanic’ in 1997. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet star as two youngsters who fall in love on board the biggest liner of its time which strikes an iceberg and sinks on its maiden voyage in 1912 making it one of the biggest ship disasters. The screenplay is loosely based on real events as pieced together by records and told by a few survivors. The movie swept all awards in 1998 including Best Original Music for James Horner. The song ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celine Dion will continue to touch our hearts for all time to come.

Apart from the romantic theme, a common thread in the movies is the brilliant music.

SONGS UNFULFILLED

 

“I haven’t been everywhere but it’s on my list’ – Susan Sontag

I guess I was born with ‘The Happy Wanderer’ spirit.

When I was 5 and we were living in Mathura, Pitaji was called to Bharatpur by the Maharaja to be a High Court Judge. My grandparents were a bit wary as the Maharaja was infamous for hiring and firing at will while the grandpas wanted stability and permanence. So at the time of moving to Bharatpur, when I made an innocent remark, ‘Abhi kya, abhi to aur kahan kahan jayenge, Jaipur Vaipurr’, Mataji shut me up saying, ‘Chup kar, Kulachchne’!

Who could have foretold history, India’s independence and the moves thereafter. 7 years later, my words came true and we were in Jaipur after having been to Udaipur, the ‘Vaipurr’ part of my prophecy! 

The travel bug bit me when I saw both my Mamas joining the Indian Navy and going abroad on cruises. I saw posters saying ‘Join the Navy and see the world’ and my mind was made up: I would join the Navy and I did.

In my schooldays in Jaipur in early 1950s, I chanced upon a weekly travel programme on Radio Ceylon. It used to begin with a song ‘…I must go, rollin’ round the world, looking for the sunshine, I know I’m gonna find someday’ and end with Bing Crosby crooning ‘Those faraway places, with strange sounding names, are calling, calling me’. In between was the travelogue interspersed with songs referring to the tourist spots. That is when I started associating songs with places. 

I have been fortunate enough to see a fair amount of the world from the Norwegian fjords in the north to Milford Sound, New Zealand, in the south, and from San Francisco Bay in the west to Mindanao Sea of the Philippines in the east. I could recall songs relating to a lot of places and, in fact, some songs dictated the choice of destination. But the best and most extensive travellers from Marco Polo to Paul Theroux could not cover many parts of the world and no matter how much one travels, there is so much more remaining. And me, I am only a small time tourist who has not even been able to go to nearby 'Bareilly ke bazaar' to look for the fallen 'jhumka'!

So ‘Come fly with me’ on a musical journey to places I have not seen despite the call of the Muse.

First the near misses. In 2010, Akhila and I went to Spain and visited a number of places but missed two, songs about which were beckoning me. One was Granada, the praises of which have been sung by famous singers like Mario Lanza, Frankie Laine and Caterina Valente. They sang of ‘Falling under your (Granada’s) spell, and if you could speak what a fascinating tale you could tell’. Not too far from Granada is the Rock of Gibraltar, based on which was another hit by Frankie Laine where he sang of a salesman escaping the clutches of women till he finds his true love. Meanwhile,                                                

'That’s why they call me the Rock of Gibraltar,                                                                                      That’s why they say my heart is made of stone,                                                                                    …..because Gibraltar is standing alone’.

We missed Lisbon in spite of the pull of Nelson Riddle’s ‘Lisbon Antigua’. The whole of Portugal too perhaps because the month was wrong; we were in Spain in July while it was in ‘April in Portugal’ when Les Baxter had ‘found my April dream in Portugal with you’.

The closest miss was Argentina. In 2013, we visited the world's largest falls, the Iguazu in Brazil which that country shares with Argentina. Our travel agent drove us to the border thinking we didn’t need a visa but the immigration officials said we did. So we went past the gate into no man’s land and did a U-turn to return to Brazil. So went our chance to get a feel of the country of Eva Peron about which she emotes so passionately in ‘Don’t cry for me Argentina’.

Despite several visits to the USA, we are yet to see ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas’ or the border town of Marty Robbins’ ballad, ‘El Paso’ which tells the story of a love gone wrong. Maybe we could have found ‘Rose’s cantina’ where the duel was fought and the ‘blackeyed Felina’ who was the cause of it. 

There is so much more to do in the US. Elvis Presley sings praises of 'Blue Hawaii', Johnny Horton tempts one to go 'North to Alaska' to search for gold and BeeGees 'feel like going back' to and remembering 'Massachusetts'.

On to Mexico. So many songs beckon one to it but just to name a couple, there is ‘South of the border, down Mexico way, …..That’s when I fell in love’ as sung by many including Frank Sinatra and Perry Como. Sailors may prefer The Kingston Trio sailing ‘Round the Bay of Mexico’.

The West Indies have always had their pull with Calypso songs. Long before Harry Belafonte, the Andrews Sisters were ‘Drinking Rum and Coca Cola’ and promising paradise going down Point Koomahnah in Trinidad.  In the 50s, Belafonte appropriated the title of King of Calypso and popularised the beat universally. In one of his numerous hits, ‘Jamaican Farewell’, he throws us the bait for a visit to Jamaica ‘Down the way where the nights are gay (!), and the sun shines daily on the mountain top’.

As early as 1951, Father Mackessack put the idea of travelling to Ireland in my head with,              ‘When Irish eyes are smiling,                                                                                                                 Sure it’s like a morn in spring,                                                                                                                   In the lilt of Irish laughter,                                                                                                                          You can hear the angels sing’.                                                                                                                      One would have to be careful though. For,                                                                                         ‘…..When Irish eyes are smiling,                                                                                                                Sure they’ll steal your heart away!’

The largest miss of all is Africa. Technically, we have done the continent having been to Mauritius but not the huge mainland. There was the 1954 big hit of The Four Aces, ‘Skokiaan’, with delightful lyrics,                                                                                                                                                                   'Oh-ho, take a trip to Africa, any ship to Africa….                                                                                     And warm lips are blissful, they’re kissful of Skokiaan’.                                                                       Skokiaan is an illegal self-made alcoholic beverage; wouldn’t it be fun to taste it in Africa!

Whilst on Africa, Jo Stafford asks us to ‘See the pyramids along the Nile’ in ‘You Belong To Me’.

So many places, so many songs, so many omitted. The only way to do it - ‘On Wings of Song’.

Japan too remains. Well, for now, best to say 'Sayonara'!