REMEMBERING MUMMY AT 100

 

Today 03 February is Mummy’s birthday. Mummy was born in 1921 in the historical town of Bayana in the erstwhile state of Bharatpur, now a district in Rajasthan. She was the eldest child of her parents who we called Pitaji and Mataji. Pitaji in turn was the eldest child of his parents. Mummy was named Bimla.

After completing M.A. in Economics and Ll.B. , Pitaji started practice as a lawyer in Muttra (now Mathura). Pitaji was very serious about education for his children, girl or boy, but there was no High School for girls in Muttra. So, as a special case, Mummy was permitted to join Kishori Raman College for boys. Mummy became the first girl in our community of Suryadwaj Brahmins to become a Matriculate in 1935. A match for her had already been fixed and immediately after her Matric exams, she was married to Kailash Nath Sharma, also from our community in Alwar.

On 15th September 1938, Mummy delivered a boy that is me, in Muttra at my grandparents’ house. I too was the eldest child of my generation in our community. My parents were then in Delhi and soon after, shifted to Alwar where my father took over as Manager, Government Press. Everything was proceeding smoothly till November 1942 when my father fell ill with typhoid. After a prolonged illness, he passed away on Diwali night at 1.30 am.

The shock that the family went through is vividly described in a couple of letters from Pitaji to Masarji  which my cousin Sharad discovered at his parents’ house in Lucknow a few years ago. Those letters are so moving that one cannot even imagine what the affected people would have gone through at that time. So I am just going to skip it now.

With the future looking completely dark for Mummy, Pitaji took an extraordinarily bold step for a 21-year old widow at that time. Within a month and a half of what happened, he took Mummy to Banares (now Varanasi) Hindu University for her to resume her studies. It took Mummy quite some time to settle down and she took some desperate steps like swallowing glass pieces a couple of times. But college provided the right diversion and eventually she was able to concentrate on her studies. She also made friends with a fellow student, Savitri Sharma, who had suffered a similar tragedy and was left with a little daughter. Their friendship developed into a lifelong one and would play a big part in Shumita marrying Gaurav Deveshwar, Savitriji’s grandnephew, 65 years later.

Mummy completed her B.A. from Benares and then shifted to Allahabad where her two younger brothers were studying, for her M.A. while I was taken care of by Pitaji and Mataji in Bharatpur. On completion of M.A., Mummy came back to Bharatpur and found employment as a teacher in a girls’ school. Thus started her very successful career in education. A few years later, she distinguished herself as Headmistress Maharaja’s Girls’ Higher Secondary School Jaipur, a post she held for 17 years in the 1950s-60s. As a result, she became a popular figure in Jaipur and is still well remembered there. Her services were recognised by her getting the President’s National Teachers’ Award.

She went on to become Inspectress Girls’ Schools and Deputy Director of Education and finally retired as Director of Sanskrit Education, Rajasthan.

Mummy kept herself fit by playing Badminton and sprinting. She won many gold medals in her age group in 100 metres at the national veterans level. In fact, she was selected to represent India at the Helsinki Veterans Olympics in 1990s, I forget the exact year, but due to some exigency, could not go. She was also very active in Boy Scouts and Girl Guides and went to Teheran to take part in an International Rally in 1979 when Capt Madan Saxena was the Naval Attaché there.

Mummy was very fond of travelling and had been all over India. She had also stayed with us in Singapore for almost a year. She was very keen on going to Europe and as I was working, Akhila, who had toured Europe with me in 1987, felt confident of repeating the tour with Mummy. Extensive arrangements were made and they went on an exciting trip to UK, France, Switzerland and Germany in 1991. On the tour, many people asked them if they were mother and daughter. They were quite surprised on being told, no, we are mother-in-law and daughter-in-law!

Then in 1997, Mansi took her to the US and Canada and Mummy’s foreign travel portfolio was complete. Hosting them graciously were my cousin Navin and his wife, Pamela.

Two court cases concerning Pitaji’s house in Jaipur kept her busy in the 1980s and ‘90s. She fought the cases single-handedly and it was due to her immense courage and indomitable spirit that both cases were won. She used to spend a lot of time with us and Ruchir and Shumita were very attached to her and she to them, but as soon as she would learn of the next court date, she would rush to Jaipur to be physically present.

Confident of winning in court, Mummy had already built her own house in the portion willed to her by Pitaji and lived there till the end. We tried to persuade her to live with us but she loved her independence and company in Jaipur and felt hemmed in by apartments that we had in Noida and Delhi. We too loved going to Jaipur often and spend as much time as we could with her.

Although she had a driver, his absence did not deter her from driving the car herself despite failing eyesight. She would attend a function if considered necessary with or without the driver. On one occasion Ruchir went to Jaipur to see a one-day international. Mummy decided to accompany him and drove the car herself. She did not see a rope barrier and went through it. A cop came upto her and on seeing Mummy, said, “Mataji, aapko abhi bhi match dekhne ka shawk hai?” Mummy angrily replied, “Aur kya, tum chahte ho ghar mein hee baithe rahen?” The cop smiled and politely waved her off!

And so it went on till the end. In December 2010, we had come back to Delhi after spending a month with her. On 16th  evening, we got a call from her maid that she had fallen in the bathroom and was not speaking. We flew to Jaipur early the next morning and though she was conscious and recognized us, we were advised by my friend, Dr. Suresh Pareek, a neighbour who had attended to her the previous evening, that we should take her to the hospital. We did that and after a few days, they put her in ICU. There she was distinctly uncomfortable and the doctors said there was nothing they could do. After consultations with doctors, we decided to bring her home on 21st December.  Immediately, she gained consciousness, recognized us and said a few words. We hoped for a miracle but on the morning of Christmas Day, 25 December, she breathed her last, just over a month short of her 90th birthday for which plans were being made eagerly.

Mummy, you would have been 100 today. As we celebrate the day today, we want you to know that our love for you will never die, we love to go to Jaipur, stay in your house which, but for some furniture, is the same as you left it, and remember you all the time. 

You can rest in peace.