GOLF-UNCERTAINTIES GALORE

Cricket fans go in raptures talking about the game being full of uncertainties. They obviously don’t know golf. The uncertainties of this game are common affairs in almost every tournament. A course which regularly produces surprise endings is Carnoustie in Scotland where the British Open is often played. In the 2007 Open, Sergio Garcia started the day with a 3-shot lead hopeful of winning his first major. The lead had reduced to just one when he came to the final hole. He saw his par putt bouncing out after lipping the cup and went for a playoff with Padraig Harrington which Sergio duly lost! But the ‘mother of all’ surprising finishes was the 1999 Open where the frenchman Jean Van de Velde lost his 3-shot lead on the 18th to result in a playoff which he lost to Britain’s Paul Lawrie. No wonder Carnoustie is referred to as ‘Carnasty’ by professional golfers!

True, similar endings happen in Cricket as well.  In the T-20 series played earlier this year, in at least 2 matches New Zealand went into the final over sure of victory with just a few runs required and plenty of wickets in hand but contrived to tie and go to the death over eventually losing to India. But where golf is really unique is in the strange and peculiar situations that occur in the game routinely which would be considered fictional if there were no witnesses. To top it all, they have actually laid down rules to cover such situations!

Take the final round of the Bridgestone Invitational at Firestone Country Club, Akron, USA, a few years ago. On the 9th hole, Tiger Woods hit his second shot into the trees left of the green. The ball dropped on the arm of a 58-year old lady who pulled it close to her body so the ball wouldn’t fall to the ground till Tiger came along. He was allowed a free drop and went on to get his par. Rule 9.1(a) Playing ball from where it came to rest and Rule 11.1 Ball in Motion Accidentally Hits Person Exception 1 are relevant!

More strange was the case of the LPGA pro Elaine Johnson. In a tournament, she hit a tree and the ball bounced back into her bra. Ever the professional, the lady said, “I’ll take a two-shot penalty but I refuse to play the ball where it lies!”

Golfers are constantly scoring birdies figuratively but a few years back, in a celebrity game, Rob Lowe hit a goldfinch in mid-flight bringing down the bird 150 feet short of the green. “That’s my birdie,” quipped Lowe.

Not part of a game but on a golf course was this incident which the great Jack Nicklaus described as the most embarrassing moment in his life. At a tournament of which he was the director, he asked for a portable toilet cabin to be shifted. As soon as the cabin was lifted by the crane, a partially dressed young lady poked her head out of the door furiously screaming her head off complaining that she was not even allowed to pee in peace!

I have had some personal experiences myself. At the Army course at Dhaula Kuan, New Delhi, the 11th and 14th holes run parallel but in opposite directions. Playing the 14th, my ball hit the ball of another golfer on the 11th in mid-flight! The balls were played 'as it lies'.

At Bolghatti, Cochin, I hit a palm tree on a Saturday evening only to find that the ball had got stuck high up and could not be retrieved. I took a penalty for lost ball and continued my game with another ball. Playing again next morning, I hit the tree again and to my utter surprise and delight, two balls dropped! Unfortunately, I could not claim to waive off my penalty of the previous day as the rules permit only 5 minutes to search for a lost ball!

For those interested in even more weird and bizarre incidents, I recommend a book I picked up sometime back. It is called “Golf Nuts Book of Amazing Feats & Records”. It describes golf’s most unbelievable shots, astounding feats, silly mishaps and outrageous miscellaneous records by big names such as Lee Trevino, Greg Norman, Sam Snead and Gary Player and, of course, lesser mortals! For those who are frustrated with their game and wish to recoup from the golf bug before throwing away their golf set, there is another book, "How to Quit Golf." And finally, for habitual bettors who hate to lose money, I recommend "How to Win at Golf Without Actually Playing Well".
A small example - on the first tee, ask your opponent casually when he is about to drive, "Do you shank?" If he doesn't, he will!

Did you know that golf can actually produce music? Dr. Robert Grober, a physics professor at Yale University, New Haven, USA, has planted an electronic sensor into a club that transmits an immediate response to a golf swing. A smooth rhythmic swing  produces a sweet sound while a mistimed one results in a wail. A Musical Instrument Digital Interface combining instruments such as a pipe organ, piccolo, oboe and French horn transmits an audio interpretation of the swing to the player through a wireless headset.

Me, I am waiting for a CD of a Tiger Woods concerto, a Sergio Symphony or a Mickelson minuet.