"YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONE YOU LOVE"

What song shall we talk about today? 

I have something haunting me for the last couple of days, why, I don't know. I guess some songs touch you deeply right from the time you first hear them and stay with you throughout your life. The song I am talking about has its title from an old saying, ''You Always Hurt The One You Love", and has its origin way back in 1944 when The Mills Brothers sang it. It is one of the oldest songs I know from the days I first started listening to English songs in my early teens but I remember it as if I had heard it just yesterday.

Is the saying true? It would seem so. Most of us probably have on occasion said something which deeply hurt someone we are very fond of making us regret our words and wanting to take them back. 

So why did we say them in the first place?

That is one for the psychologists! But for an ordinary person like me to briefly ponder, I would say that intimacy or familiarity is the main cause: you feel that while you would weigh your words very carefully when talking to people you are not very close to or not care much for, you can open up and say anything to someone you love and that person would listen to you and not mind. But the loved one may construe the words as offensive, prying or unnecessary criticism and feel hurt. Consequence: something far from what you originally desired!

So now let me do your own thinking and leave you with lyrics so thoughtfully written by Allan Roberts and movingly sung by The Mills Brothers:

"You always hurt the one you love

The one you shouldn't hurt at all

You always take the sweetest rose

And crush it till the petals fall

You always break the kindest heart 

With a hasty word you can't recall

So if i broke your heart last night

It's because I love you most of all."

DEAR SWEETS OF JAIPUR

 

It's that time of the year when India's tooth is at its sweetest. All over the country, people are eating and gifting sweets. But this year, Jaipur, which has always been known for its sweets, has zoomed into limelight and exclusivity by producing perhaps the most expensive sweet ever made, at least in India. It has been created by Anjali Jain, founder of Tyohaar Sweet House in Vaishali Nagar, Jaipur, and is named 'Swarn Prasadam'. Its price, Rs. 1,11,000 (about USD 1200) per Kg. or Rs. 3000 per piece. Oh dear!

What makes it so expensive? Its basic ingredient is 'chilgoza' or pine nut, one of the most costly nuts in the world, blended with saffron and edible gold dust, crafted like a jewel and packed in a jewellery box. 

For less money, you can indulge in 'Swarn (gold) Bhasma Bharat' at Rs. 1950 or 'Chandi (silver) Bhasma Bharat' at Rs. 1150 per piece. There is also the 'Pataka Thaal' full of sweets made from cashewnuts and shaped like firecrackers resembling bombs, anaars, chakris and diyas.

Jaipur sweets have always been dear to me in the loveable sense of the word but it was inevitable that growth, progress and desire to be unique and creative would make the sweets dear in the other meaning of the word. The first sweet I remember enjoying soon after moving to Jaipur in 1950 was the Jalebi which Pitaji, my Nana, would send for every Sunday for breakfast, fresh from -where else!- Jalebi Chowk near the famous Hawa Mahal. Mataji, my Nani, for 'bhog' offering to gods at home, would get Kalakand and Misri Mawa from a 'halwai' in Gopalji Ka Raasta straight from the 'kadhai'. Another sweet we were very fond of was the milk cake from Chawla Sweets which had a distinct caramel like taste not available in milk cakes from other sources.

Later on, I discovered Delhi Mishthan Bhandar opposite the old Prem Prakash (now Golcha) cinema hall near the southern end of Chaura Raasta. My favourite was a sweet the name of which I forget which was like a juicy ’balushahi’ topped with dollops of cream. Next to that shop, Sarvesh Mamaji, son of Mataji’s brother, opened a restaurant, Paradise, and treated all relatives including me and friends for free. Needless to say he soon went into red and had to close Paradise!

The love affair with Jaipur sweets continues with some changes necessitated by passage of time. We miss the milk cake from Chawla's as the shop closed at the onset of Covid and never opened again. Gopalji Ka Rasta has lost its shine in competition with big shops like Laxmi Mishthan Bhandar. Jalebi Chowk is now more famous for ladies clothing than jalebis.

But there are other old timers that have survived and blossomed despite modern glitz. Bhagat Sweet House near Chhoti Chaupar continues to be known for its unique brown laddoos made out of 'besan' and milk. A small narrow lane off Johari Bazaar, Gheewalon Ka Rasta, boasts of two tiny shops which prepare sweets in the morning and are sold out by the afternoon. One produces first rate Misri Mawa and Gulab Sakri with distinctive rose flavour. The second makes the traditional Ghewar, the typical Jaipur sweet that resembles a honeycomb and you can have it dipped in syrup with the amount of sugar as required by you.

We look forward to each visit to Jaipur to replenish our stock of sweets. Hopefully, Swarn Prasadam will not be too dear a sweet for us.

Happy Diwali. Indulge!

 

TWO LULLABIES AND A SONG

What a paradox - I woke up this morning with two lullabies buzzing in my head!

The first is one of the oldest songs I can remember. Its 78 rpm record was discovered at home by me in early 1940s along with the gramophone, the hand-winding His Master's Voice one with the logo of Nipper, the dog. The song was the lullaby, 'Soja Rajkumari', composed by Pankaj Mullick and sung by KL Saigal. 

As in all lullabies, it's words are fanciful and the music soft and soothing. Sung in Hindi, here's a translation -

"Sleep, princess, sleep

Sleep, I adore you greatly, sleep

Sleep, may you have sweet dreams 

In dreams you will see your loved one 

You will fly to Roopnagar (fairyland)

Your Roopnagar girl companions will come

Rajaji will garland you and kiss your forehead

Sleep, Princess, sleep."

Since it is for a ‘Rajkumari’, nobody would have sung it as a lullaby to me but Akhila reminds me that I used to sing it to Shumita on being given the task of making her go to sleep!

The second lullaby is the "Cradle Song" by Brahms which was a part of Father Mackessack's repertoire in his singing class in St. Xavier's School, Jaipur, in 1951-52. Brahms wrote it in German and dedicated it to his lady friend on the birth of her second son in 1868. The song is one of Brahms most famous and popular pieces and has many versions in nursery rhymes. The words I remember are the ones that Fr. Mackessack taught us -

"Lullaby and good night

Thy mother's delight

Bright angels around my darling shall stand

They will guard thee from harms 

Thou shall wake in my arms

They will guard thee from harms

Thou shall wake in my arms."

Pretty effective for Ruchir and Shumita in their childhood.

Then there is a song which I used to sing as a lullaby to my grandsons, Shiven and Raghav, whenever it fell upon me to put them to bed. I first heard "This Old Man" or "Knick-Knack Paddywhack" in the movie, "The Inn of the Sixth Happiness" in which Ingrid Bergman played the role of a real-life British missionary, Gladys Aylward, happily singing this song and leading a bunch of little children up the steps of a mission in China. It is a counting song going from one to ten beginning with - 

"This old man, he played one

He played knick-knack on my drum

With a knick-knack paddywhack give a dog a bone

This old man came rolling home."

And so on to 'two/shoe', 'three/knee', 'four/door', 'five/hive', 'six/sticks', 'seven/heaven', 'eight/gate', 'nine/spine' and finally 'ten/hen'.

I rarely got to ten. By about five/six, the boys fell asleep and this old man went rolling home!