JOAN COLLINS - THE SEA WIFE

 

Ruchir sent me a forward today of a documentary on Joan Collins, the actress popular with all of us for her role in the TV serial, "Dynasty", which we used to watch regularly without fail starting with our Singapore days in the '80s. It brought back some very pleasant memories.

It's great to learn that Joan Collins is still going strong at 88. An accomplished actress, author and philanthropist, she has many awards to her credit including Golden Globe, Primetime Emmy, induction in Hollywood Hall of Fame, and Dame of the British Empire. Last year, she completed 70 years in the entertainment industry. My interest in her goes back to 65 years when I saw the bewitching actress for the first time in a movie, "Sea Wife", which was also my first of the great Richard Burton. The movie had an unusual and touching ending which I still remember.

In the movie, Richard as a British military officer and Joan as a nun, board a ship to escape the Japanese invasion of Singapore. The ship is torpedoed by a Japanese submarine and the two of them along with two others manage to survive on a raft and land up on a deserted island. They do not reveal their true identities and Richard introduces himself as 'Biscuit' and calls Joan, 'Sea Wife'. They are attracted to each other though Sea Wife resists Biscuit's advances. 

In time, they are picked up by a ship but Biscuit is badly injured during the rescue and is unconscious when they reach England. Sea Wife leaves and resumes her nun's vocation.

On recovery, Biscuit mounts a frantic search for Sea Wife and places ads in newspapers. Another man who was on the raft and is sick in a hospital sends for Biscuit and tells him that Sea Wife had drowned. Utterly dejected, Biscuit walks out of the hospital and chances on two nuns, one of whom is an elderly lady and the other, the attractive Sea Wife. Biscuit's and Sea Wife's eyes hold each others' for a longish moment but soon Biscuit disengages and walks past. The elderly nun, in whom Sea Wife has confided, asks, "He didn't recognise you?" Sea Wife replies, "Who ever notices the face of a nun.”

ADDING ANOTHER SONG TO THOSE THAT HAUNT ME

The fear of the pandemic has made most of us so paranoid that we are scared to go out and are content to sit at home and watch stupid, inane or horrendous serials on TV. On a whim and to free ourselves of the self-created shackles, Akhila and I decided to go out to the Army Golf Course for a drink last evening.

What a good decision it was. The evening was perfect; the sky was clear with almost a full moon glowing, temperature a pleasant 24* with a light, cool, easterly breeze blowing, and the golf course scenic with its greenery on display in the soft moonlight. 

A lot of people must have thought like us because the Club was full. We were lucky to find a table on the lawn outside the Clubhouse and ordered chilled beer for myself and a fresh lime and soda for my teetotaller lady, and some Paneer Shashlik Tikkas and Honey Chili Potatoes to munch.

On the rooftop of the Club there was a band which we could not see but could hear the sweet music wafting down to us. The singer was quite good and soon she launched into a song that has haunted me ever since. It is a beautiful melody and I wonder how I missed it when writing about my favourite songs of Lata Mangeshkar last month. Lataji sang it for Sadhana in the 1964 mystic movie, ‘Woh Kaun Thi’ and due credit should be given to Raja Mehndi Ali Khan for the outstanding lyrics and to Madan Mohan for the haunting music.

I can do no better than to repeat the lyrics here and leave you to listen to the deeply emotional song when you can.

‘Lag ja gale ki phir yeh hasin raat ho na ho,

Shaayad phir is janam mein mulakaat ho na ho, 

Lag ja gale se. 

Hum ko mili hai aaj, yeh ghadiyaan naseeb se,

Ji bhar ke dekh leejiye humko kareeb se,

Phir aapke naseeb mein, yeh baat ho na ho,

Shaayad phir is janam mein mulakaat ho na ho.

Paas aaeeye ki hum nahin aayenge baar baar, 

Baahen gale mein daal ke, hum ro le zaar zaar,

Aankhon se phir yeh, pyaar ki barsaat ho na ho,

Shaayad phir is janam mein mulakaat ho na ho.’

The evening is long gone but the song’s not leaving me!

HOLI AND ITS SONGS

 

This year’s Holi is just a few days away. All of us know the festival well and have been told its mythical stories in our childhood just as I was by Mataji, my Nani. Let me briefly put them down just to refresh our memories.

Holi is celebrated in two parts. The first is Holika Dahan, the burning of Holi on the evening of the full moon of the Hindu calendar month of Phalgun, which occurs usually in the month of March. On that occasion, we light a fire reminding us of the one that destroyed the demon Holika, sister of the ancient king, Hiranyakashyap. The king thought he had achieved immortality through five powers bestowed on him which were: neither a human nor an animal could kill him, he could not be killed by day or by night, he could not be killed on land, water or air, he could not be killed indoors or outdoors, and lastly, he could not be killed by a weapon either handheld or a projectile.

With these powers, the king demanded to be worshipped as god and ran a cruel reign over his subjects. His son, Prahlad, was, however, deeply devoted to Lord Vishnu and continued to worship the latter despite the king’s wrath. Holika decided to kill Prahlad and sat in a fire covering herself in a fireproof cloak with an exposed Prahlad on her lap. As the fire raged, the cloak flew and covered Prahlad with the result that Holika burnt while Prahlad emerged unscathed.

Lord Vishnu then decided to put an end to Hiranyakashyap.  He took the form of Narsimha, half-man half-lion (neither human nor animal), caught hold of the king at dusk (neither day nor night), put him on his lap (not land not water not air), sat on the doorstep (neither indoors nor outdoors) and killed him with the lion’s claws (not a weapon, handheld or projectile).

Good having triumphed over evil, it is time to celebrate with Holi Dhulendi the next morning. The festival has its origin in a sweet, romantic story. Lord Krishna adored Radha but feared that she would not accept him because his skin complexion was blue owing to poison given to him in milk by the demon Putana or, according to an alternate story, due to exposure to a snake’s venom while fighting it. Krishna repeatedly mentioned his anxiety to his mother, Yashoda, who got irritated and told him to go to Radha and tell her to apply the colour of her choice on his face. Hence, the colour festival of Holi!

While Holi celebrations have spread to all of India and Nepal and wherever there are Hindus, the festival has special significance for ‘Braj Bhoomi’ encompassing the area around Mathura, the birthplace of Lord Krishna (as also this old man!). Bharatpur, where I lived from age 5 to 11, is also a part of this region and celebrates the festival with functions for several days.

Any festivity can have excesses and one comes to mind about Holi in the old days. In the 1940s, Bharatpur was ruled by a Maharaja and Pitaji, my Nana, was a judge in the State’s High Court. The Maharaja used to hold a special Durbar at Holi with all officials in attendance. The chairs of the attendees were wired with electricity and the Maharaja had a controlling keyboard. He would pass on an electrical impulse to whichever chair he desired and have a good laugh when the poor guy jumped as a result of the shock.

Singing and dancing are parts of most celebrations and so it is with Holi which is a popular subject of numerous songs. I have been hearing folk songs from Braj from my childhood. The oldest one I recall from Bharatpur days is “Aaj Biraj Mein Hori Re Rasiya”. Some lines:

‘Shyam Shyamli khelen Hori, adbhut roop tiharon re rasiya,

Apne apne ghar se nikli, koi gori koi kali re rasiya.’

Another popular one goes-

‘Mathura ki kunj galeen mein, Hori khel rahe Nandlal,

Mahe bhar pichkari mari, sari ki aab utari…

Morey mukh par malo gulaal, Mathura ki kunj galeen mein….’

One more from Braj-

‘Holi aaee re, aaee re, Holi aaee re, jhoomti gaati, rang barsati, Holi aaee re,

Nikal padi gori ab ghar se, marein pichkari rang bhar bhar ke, Holi aaee re….

Tan rang dala, man rang dala, abeer lagao ji bhar ke, Holi aaee re…’

Bollywood in its movies has often included songs centred around Holi. Perhaps the best known is ‘Rang Barse Bhige Chunar Wali’ from ”Silsila”. It is sung by Amitabh Bachchan in the role of Amit while playing Holi with his love interest, Chandni, acted by Rekha. Both Amit and Chandni are married to someone else who are also present but that doesn’t prevent Amit from flirting unashamedly with Chandni. The story of the film itself was considered bold and in somewhat bad taste given the gossip of an affair involving Amitabh and Rekha in real life. But the song remains popular and is played and sung on most Holi celebrations. It is said that as in carnivals in the Western world, the gods turn a blind eye towards indiscretions on Holi. However, prudence is advised!

Krishna or Kanhai occur in many Bollywood Holi songs. One that comes to mind is ‘Holi Aayi Re Kanhai’ from the 1957 film “Mother India” urging Kanhai to play his sweet bansuri. Another old film, “Navrang”, has funny lyrics beginning with ‘Are ja atak atak jhatpat panghat parchatak matak ik naar naveli’ and is about a ‘gori gwalin’ scolding Kanhaiya for flirting with her while Kanhaiya replies that he can accept her ‘meethi gaali’ because it is Holi!

“Kati Patang” in 1971 featured a hit song ‘Aaj na chhodenge humjoli, khelenge hum Holi’ featuring Rajesh Khanna and Asha Parekh with background voices of Kishore Kumar and Asha Bhosle. And in “Sholay”, Dharmendra and Hema Malini danced and sang (background voices by Kishore Kumar and Lata Mangeshkar) ‘Holi ke din’ with gay abandon.

More recently, “Baghban” in 2003 featured an older and more mature Amitabh Bachchan singing ‘Hori khele Raghuveera’. For a change, this song is about Raghuveera (Lord Ram) playing Holi in Awadh. 

My final song is the most recent I can recall, ‘Balam Pichkari’, from the 2013 movie, “Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani” featuring Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. We are now in the modern age and the girl in the song is in jeans! The lyrics are fun-

‘Itna mazaa kyun aa raha hai, tune hawa mein bhaang milaya,

Dugna nasha, kyun ho raha hai, aankhon se meetha tune khilaya….

Balam pichkari jo tune mujhe maari, toh seedhi saadhi chhori sharaabi ho gayi,

Haa jeans pahen ke jo tune maara thumka, toh lattoo padosan ki bhabhi ho gayi.’

After two years of lockdown, hopefully we can celebrate a free, open and colourful Holi this year. Apart from abeer and gulaal, I shall request Akhila to prepare some organic coloured water with ‘tesu’ flowers like Mataji used to do back in Bharatpur in my childhood.

Happy Holi!

P.S. Ref to Braj songs had another song hovering in my mind. This is not about Holi but I must get it out of my system. I do not even know the full song and never learnt the context but the line I know is amusing-

‘Bharatpur ki galiyan mein, re murga boley toh savero maano jaye.’

What an enlightened way to know that a new day has dawned!

SHANE WARNE - C'EST LA VIE

In the morning today, 4 March, 52 year young Shane Warne condoles the death of the great Australian wicket-keeper, 74 year old Rodney Marsh, who passed away following a heart attack. Later in the day, Shane Warne, a most admired and loved cricketer apparently fully fit, succumbs to a heart attack! The world is shell-shocked. C'est la vie.

Warnie, as he was affectionately called, was a living legend. Tributes are pouring in and tomorrow's papers will be full of him. His bowling feats and records will fill pages and pages and we can all delve into them. Here, I just want to mention two incidents which come to mind immediately.

One, what is termed as 'The Ball of the Century', the delivery which heralded a most successful career. It was in Old Trafford in 1993 in the Ashes test and it was the first ball of his first over. He bowled a leg break which turned over two feet and knocked the stumps of Mike Gatting who was totally flummoxed! The expression on the face of Mike Gatting was incredible. He could not believe what had happened.

Two, my family's joy, being Jaipurites, when Rajasthan Royals coached and captained by Warnie won the inaugural IPL league in 2008. No one had given the Royals a chance to be in the finals let alone win it. Warnie had achieved the impossible.

Read about his numerous records in detail. For me, these two happenings make him unforgettable.

DANNY KAYE - THE HAPPY ENTERTAINER

Till a few years back it was said that tulips could not grow in India because of our climate. Our horticulturists have proved this wrong and recently, Shanti Path in Delhi bloomed with tulips with more to come in Rashtrapati Bhavan’s Moghul Gardens. That reminded me of a popular song of yesteryears, ‘Tulips in Amsterdam’ which I thought was sung by Danny Kaye. I was wrong: Max Bygraves sang that song but perhaps its similarity to ‘Wonderful Copenhagen’ brought Danny Kaye to my mind. Was it also that my sub-conscious was somehow aware that 03 March was the date of his passing on in 1987?

In our younger days, we adored Danny Kaye, the entertainer. The distinguishing feature of Danny was the happiness and optimism he exuded in his movies and songs. It seemed like a genuine emotion coming straight from the heart and not a put-on or slap-stick act. He was happy and wanted everyone to be happy.

He was a born entertainer and as a kid in school, kept his classmates entertained with imitation acts and humorous songs. He would grow up to become an actor, singer, dancer, cook, comedian and philanthropist. His work earned him international acclaim and he was appointed UNICEF’s first Ambassador-at-large in 1954.

Danny’s parents were of Ukrainian-Jewish descent and immigrated to the USA. He was born in New York in 1911 and named David Daniel Kaminsky. In his childhood, he wanted to become a surgeon but his parents could not afford medical education. So he took to odd jobs including as an assistant to a dentist and when the latter fired him for fooling around with a dental drill, Danny eloped with the dentist’s daughter, Sylvia Fine, who became his pianist, lyricist and composer.

In 1933, he joined a vaudeville dance act called ‘The Three Terpsichoreans’ and took the name of Danny Kaye. With his troupe, he went on a tour to Asia where he started entertaining people who did not understand English, with pantomime gestures, songs and facial expressions. He developed this into a fine art for which he would become famous all through his life. His daughter recounted a story that when in China, he went to a restaurant and wanted to order a chicken dish. He flapped his arms up and down and clucked to imitate the bird. The waiter nodded acknowledgement and promptly came back with two eggs!

He started acting in films in 1937 but his first big break came in a 1941 Broadway comedy show, ‘‘Lady In The Dark’’ with a number ‘TsChaikowsky (and Other Russians)’ in which he sang names of many Russian composers at rapid fire speed without seeming to pause for breath. His feature film career took off in 1944 with “Up In Arms” after which he starred in a number of hit movies.

Apart from films, he was celebrated for his TV, Radio and stage shows, songs and even as an orchestra conductor though he could not read music. His conducting of ‘The Flight of the Bumblebees’ earned him praise from no less than the great conductor, Zubin Mehta.

My love for Danny Kaye stemmed from his films and songs. The first movie of his that I recall seeing was “On The Riviera” in which he played a double role. It featured a song composed and written by his wife Sylvia, ‘Popo The Puppet’, which became Danny’s signature song. A favourite with children, its key line is meaningful, ‘Popo the Puppet can do anything, when somebody else pulls the string!’

Songs sung in his delightful novelty style which are among my favourites include his first hit, ‘I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch Of Cocoanuts’. Then there is the very happy  ‘Everything Is Tickety-Boo’ from the movie “Merry Andrew” filmed with him on a bike greeting all he meets on his ride with ‘Everything is tickety-boo…incidentally, how about you…happier too, tickety-boo, tickety-boo, everything is tickety-boo, on such a dreamy day.’  ‘Mad Dogs And Englishmen’ who go out in the noonday sun could apply to golfers like me while ‘Life Could Not Better Be’ is another happy number guaranteed to chase one’s blues away. He sang a lot of songs for children like ‘I Taut I Taw A Puddy-Tat’, ‘Santa Claus Looks Like My Daddy’ and ‘All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth’ with Patty Andrews of The Andrews Sisters.

Coming back to movies, he starred in the big musical hit “White Christmas” sharing the limelight with Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen. The music was scored by the famous composer Irving Berlin and featured a number of hit songs as could be expected from Irving and the three outstanding singers. The story was about Bob (Bing Crosby) and Phil (Danny Kaye) who became friends in the Army during World War II and later got together to perform on stage. Their love interests involved Betty (Rosemary Clooney) and Judy (Vera Ellen) respectively who they invited to join on stage. The movie ended with the unforgettable ‘White Christmas' sung by Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Trudy Stevens who provided the background voice for Vera Ellen, a non-singer. Bing Crosby sang his famous ‘Count Your Blessings’ and Danny danced and sang ‘The Best Things Happen When You Are Dancing’. The movie also featured the comic song ‘Sisters’ by Rosemary and Trudy (for Vera) which was then delightfully lip synced by Bing and Danny.

Finally, I think the best of Danny both in acting and singing comes out in the movie “Hans Christian Andersen”.  The story is told not as a plain biography of the great Danish fairy tale writer but as a kind of fairy tale in itself through songs and ballets. Tales told in the movie include The Ugly Duckling, Thumbelina, The Little Mermaid and The Emperor’s New Clothes. Thumbelina (a tiny girl, the size of a thumb) and The Ugly Duckling are sung by Danny with deep emotion and are heartwarming.  Some lines from Thumbelina-

‘Thumbelina, Thumbelina, tiny little thing,

Thumbelina dance, Thumbelina sing,

Thumbelina, what’s the difference if you’re very small,

When your heart is full of love, you’re nine feet tall.’

Two other songs from the movie, ‘I’m Hans Christian Andersen’ and ‘Wonderful Copenhagen’ are outstanding. The pull of the latter was strong enough to make me visit Copenhagen in 2016. The Danish guide acknowledged that Danny’s song was responsible for putting the capital city of Denmark right on top of the tourist map. She pointed out though that Danny popularised the city as ‘Copen-haa-gen’ instead of its Danish pronunciation ‘Copen-hay-gen’!

A photograph which I shall always treasure is that of Akhila and me standing in front of ‘The Little Mermaid’ in Copenhagen harbour.

We love you Danny Kaye, you made us happy. God bless your soul.