A SHORT MUSICAL BLAST FROM THE PAST

What is this thing called 'memory'? How is it that something which you haven't thought of in decades, suddenly comes to the fore from the deepest recesses of your mind and won't go away! 

This happens to me often particularly in case of music. For some time now, I have been thinking of writing about my favourite musicals. And today, a song I had almost forgotten has been haunting me since I woke up. So without waiting for the planned piece, let me put my mind at rest by writing about it.

The song is from the musical movie 'The Student Prince' which I saw in 1954. The story is of a brash German prince studying in Heidelberg University who falls in love with a barmaid and has to make the difficult choice between his love and his royal duties. The song is sung in a bar by the prince (played by Edmund Purdom with the dubbed voice of Mario Lanza) and his friends waving huge steins frothing with beer. It is appropriately called 'The Drinking Song' and its lyrics include-

'Drink! Drink! Let the toast start,

May young hearts never part,

Drink! Drink! Drink! Let every true lover salute his sweetheart,

Let's drink!'

It was not the beer but the rollicking way in which the song was sung that made it memorable for me- 67 years and the scene is vividly implanted in my brain. As for beer, it would still be many years after the movie that I would first drink it! And Heidelberg is a place I have been wanting to visit ever since but remains a 'Song Unfulfilled'!

Now that memory has been raked, I might as well add a few more from the archives lurking at the back of my mind. In one of his early visits to the UK, Vinnie Mama saw the musical 'Carousel' and brought back its long playing disc. He told me the story in brief and made me listen to the record. I was immediately touched by the song 'If I Loved You' which is sung by the characters Billy and Jenny talking about what life would be like if they were in love while shying away from the fact that they are actually falling for each other. The song is repeated later by the dead Billy on his visit from heaven to earth to see his daughter. Some lyrics,

'If I loved you, time and again I would try to say, all I'd want you to know,

If I loved you, words wouldn't come in an easy way, round in circles I'd go,

Longing to tell you but afraid and shy,

I'd let my golden chances pass me by,

Soon you'd leave me, off you would go in the midst of day, 

Never never to know, how I loved you,

If I loved you!'

'Carousel' was the second musical play of Rodgers and Hammerstein which made its debut on Broadway in 1945. Time magazine called it the best musical of the 20th century and Richard Rodgers himself said it was his top favourite. My dream to see it was realised in 2018 when I saw its revival on Broadway..

Vinnie Mama was also responsible for my introduction to 'Some Enchanted Evening' through another record he brought from the UK in early '50s. It was the original version by Ezio Pinza from the Broadway play of 1949, 'South Pacific'. I was familiar with the song long before I saw the movie of 1958. The lyrics are, to borrow from the song's title, enchanting. Sound advice to a lovestruck fellow though in the musical, the song is sung by the character for himself on seeing a pretty stranger across the room-

'Some enchanted evening, when you find your true love,

When you hear her call you across a crowded room, 

Then fly to her side and make her your own, 

Or all through your life, you may dream all alone.

Once you have found her, never let her go.

Once you have found her, NE-VER LET HER GO....'

Again, I was lucky to see its revival on Broadway in 2010. 

The floodgates of memorable songs are opening and so many are whirring in my mind: 'Edelweiss', 'Gigi', 'Younger Than Springtime', 'I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face'.... and ‘Memory’, a classic itself. Before I get swamped, I must close after acknowledging that I consider myself to be blessed to have grown up hearing such beautiful songs. I can't do better than end with words from a song in 'The Sound Of Music':

'.... somewhere in my youth or childhood,

I must have done something good'.

SALUBRIOUS WELLINGTON II

 

We reached Wellington mid-March 1978 after a delightful ride in the toy train winding its way up the Nilgiris through lush green tea gardens. While taking in the scene, my mind dwelt on the twist in the tale of the last few years. Upto July ’73, it had been bluntly conveyed to me by the Personnel branch in NHQ that I had no chance of being selected to do the Defence Services Staff College (DSSC) Course. Now, within four years, not only had I successfully completed the Course but was going to be on the Staff training future Admirals (Arun Prakash and Sureesh 'Faggy' Mehta went on to become Navy Chiefs and Raju Bharathan, Vice Chief). It is strange how just an individual can mar or make one's career. My first OIC in Signal School had all but written my naval career off while Rear Admiral Mohan Grewal resurrected me as soon as he became Assistant Chief of Personnel. Truly, 'the moving finger..having writ' in my favour, had moved on and neither the OIC's ‘piety nor wit…nor tears could wash out a word of it'!

It also felt satisfying in another way: It marked my 100% record of return on the staff of an institution where I had undergone training or a course. I had gone back to NDA as a Divisional Officer, Signal School as an instructor and now as Directing Staff at the DSSC. Back in school, old Father Mackessack had suggested that I should become a teacher!

We settled down in our allotted accommodation which was a first floor flat in the 3-storeyed New Nilamber complex on top of a hill. We had a spacious balcony and two terraces overlooking tea gardens and the scenic golf course. For neighbours, we had Wg Cdr Jain on the top floor and, on the ground floor, Lt Col Negi who was soon replaced by Lt Col Vijay Berry, my course and squadron mate from NDA and, of course, a good friend. His wife Kiran and Akhila got on very well too. Kailash and Kumud Kohli were also within hailing distance and on free evenings, either they were at our place for a drink or we at theirs.

The Staff College had a unique system named ‘Protocol Seniority’ for allocation of duties. Service seniority was put aside and one started from the bottom of the ladder according to the date of reporting at the College. The junior five tended to the 5 syndicates the students were divided in while the elite top 4 coordinated the programme, exercises, solutions etc. You moved one up as soon as someone got transferred and the newcomer took the lowest rung. Thus when I reported, I took the bottom spot looking after the fifth syndicate.

This protocol seniority business led to a controversial situation. The CNS was to visit for his annual lecture and a group photograph was planned for all naval officers. The CNS, the Chief Instructor (CI) (Navy) and the Directing Staff (DS) were to be seated with the students standing. The CI (Navy) held a meeting with the DS to discuss CNS’s programme. Kailash Kohli and I raised a point that protocol seniority was fine for day to day working but when it came to an official photograph with the CNS, we should be seated in order of our naval seniority. This was met with opposition from the elite who considered protocol seniority to be sacrosanct. The issue had the CI in a quandary who said he would give his decision later. When we went down for the photograph, we asked the CI for his decision. His reply, “Sit as you like!” There was a hush in which I, the senior most, made my way to the chair next to the CNS, Kailash next to the CI and everyone else took up his seat in order of naval seniority.

I settled down to the main task of teaching or directing which was really a more appropriate term. I found it very interesting and engage with the students, exciting. Out of working hours, there was a lot of free time except when we had to go through the students’ sometimes lengthy written solutions. The Wellington golf course goes all around the College and is so accessible that one could just walk to it whenever free. Kailash and I became permanent partners and our combination quite formidable. We easily made the DSSC team which itself was unbeatable. In 1979, the Commandant, Maj Gen Mohinder Singh, himself a good golfer, decided to appoint me the Golf Captain of the DSSC team and that year, the DSSC team won all the tournaments that we took part in.

Ruchir began his formal education in the Wellington School while Shumita was put in the nursery. With good domestic staff available, the wives had plenty of time to engage in hobbies. Akhila took up painting and some of her works adorn the walls in our Jaipur house. DSSC used to screen movies on weekends but to see the latest, we had to drive to Ooty half an hour away. One of the top releases of that time was Saturday Night Fever which had the whole College rushing to Ooty. Musicwise, Boney M was the rage and we were all singing and dancing to Daddy Cool, Ma Baker, Rasputin ('Oh those Russians!') and Rivers Of Babylon.

The Army frowned upon social interaction between the DS and the students but the Navy allowed us to mix freely. One incident best illustrates this. When the ’79 course had just started, a bachelor student, Neville Mehta, came upto me and said he would like to call on us in the evening. I asked him to come home for a drink at 7 pm.  At the appointed time, the bell rang and when I opened the door, I saw Neville standing there with the entire syndicate and their wives! We were surprised but happy to welcome them. Fortunately, the bar was well stocked and our cook, Elizabeth, proved equal to the task by quickly cooking delicious snacks for all. In fact, we partied till the early hours of the morning and the snacks kept on coming.

Mid-’79 we went on an exchange visit to Munnar where DSSC teams played against the High Range Club in golf, tennis and squash. I was out on the golf course, Akhila was playing cards with the ladies and the children were keeping busy by themselves. Suddenly, a planter came running up to me panting and breathless and told me that my son had drunk a glassful of gin. I charged to the bar and found Ruchir sitting and looking quite sober with half a bottle of gin and an empty glass next to him. I asked him if he had had a drink. He said he had poured himself a glass from the bottle, taken a sip, found its taste terrible and had emptied it in a flower pot nearby. And would I please get him some coke! Smart thinking by a 5-year old and a crisis averted. I wonder if this experience left such a bitter taste in his mouth that he remains a teetotaller to this day!

Towards the end of the year, the Director of Personnel from NHQ visited us. He gave me the good news of my having cleared the board for promotion to the rank of Captain. Winter break came and I took some leave and we went off to Jaipur. Earlier, I had sold off my Standard Herald which had been my reliable steed for 11 years but now its parts had started coming apart. On one occasion, when we heard a noise, we stopped to check and found it was from the horn, only it was not its normal sound but that of its rolling on the road! Luckily, I found a ready buyer in my friend and fellow DS, Jhangoo Aga, who wanted a car for his father for short runs. He paid me Rs. 4250 and drove it to Bombay. He was so happy with the smooth run that he sent me an additional cheque for Rs. 250. 

For ourselves, I bought a Fiat in Jaipur and drove it all the way to Wellington. Akhila, Ruchir and Shumita were, of course, with me and Mummy insisted on accompanying us offering to drive whenever I was tired. She was a great help though I spared her any driving. To avoid the dark on the road, we made stops at Udaipur, Baroda, Bombay, Belgaum, Bangalore and the Mudumalai game sanctuary where we spent the new year’s eve. On 01 January, we went around the sanctuary on an elephant which remains my one and only elephant ride to this day. In the afternoon, we went around again but this time in my car. We saw precious little wildlife but at one point deep in the jungle, about 15 men on horseback all dressed in black with faces covered by the bottom ends of their turbans, crossed ahead of us. On our return to our hotel, we inquired from the staff who those people could be. The answer, "Probably some dacoits!" Thanks for telling us now!

The drive from Jaipur to Wellington was troublefree with nary a puncture. Just as well as I had discovered halfway during the trip that there was no jack in the car! Looking back, it seems almost foolhardy to have undertaken the long road journey with two ladies and two kids 5 and 3. But then, my self-confidence in those days was high contrary to what I feel now in old age!

Meanwhile, my marching orders had come appointing me as Deputy Director (Navy) in the Signals Directorate, Army Headquarters, in the rank of Captain, in March ’80.  So ended two wonderful years of my second spell in salubrious Wellington.

STRANGE REFLECTION

 

I don’t like looking in the mirror anymore. Just as Mary Hopkin sang in ‘Those Were The Days’, in the glass I see a strange reflection wondering if that man is really me?

I have read that it is a biological fact that as a person grows older, the ears and the nose keep growing while the eyes retain their original size and shape. Wholly true in my case. My ears are way over their original size and the lobes are expanding and hanging low. As far as the nose is concerned, gone is the medium sized finely chiseled one of youthful days and I now have a bigger one with the tip bloated like a distorted can past its sell by date. 

The hairline is receding and the hair are scarce. While having a haircut the other day, in order to get my money’s worth, I told the barber, ‘Upar se halka karna’. He made some clipping noises with the scissors and stopped. I said, ‘Kya ho gaya, kyon nahi kat rahe?’ The barber replied simply, ‘Sahib, kya katoon. Udhar to kuch hai hi nahin’. Rude chap, no tips and I am changing him.

The eyes have retained their size. But with longer ears, big, blunt nose and little hair on top, it looks as if they have become smaller. Looking at this reflection, I cannot believe that in my youth, people could even in a joke say that I resembled a Dirk Bogarde or a Marcello Mastroianni! 

Talking of hair, giving up on my head, they have found fertile ground in my ears and nostrils. As I have stopped shaving everyday in order to minimize mirror time, I often look like a bear, grisly, not teddy.

Thank God the children have grown up otherwise they would say as in Harry Belafonte’s song,   ‘Mama, look a boo boo, they shout,                                                                                                     Their mother told them shut up your mout’                                                                                               That is your daddy, oh no,                                                                                                                           My daddy can’t be ugly so.                                                                                                                           Shut your mouth, go away                                                                                                                       Mama look a boo boo dey’.

Growing old has also resulted in loss of hearing and I get shouted at all the time for not hearing when I can’t! The irony is that whereas I miss normal conversations in which people might say nice things about me, I hear the shouts and curses loud and clear! And now a friend tells me about a new virus ‘Nile’ the symptoms of which include sending blank messages, messages to the wrong person, forgetting attachments, pressing Send instead of Delete and vice versa. This is C-Nile. He also apprised me of its variant in which one does not admit doing the above. That is D-Nile. I warned my friend not to go further down the alphabet lest he catch a more dangerous one.

Nat King Cole is long gone otherwise I would have accosted him for his ‘You will never grow old, while there is love in your heart’. Well, there is love in my heart but I am still growing old!

 

TOP ALL-OUT HINDI COMEDY MOVIES

 

When I came of age to start watching films in the late 1940s, Hindi movies were supposed to be serious stuff. The themes were social or romance heavily loaded with sadness where viewers would be advised to carry large handkerchiefs. Raj Kapoor, arguably the top actor in late ‘40s and ‘50s, was projecting himself as a sad romantic hero trying to keep cheerful in the face of adversity. There was little room for comedy and actors such as Gope, Mukri and Agha were confined to bit roles for temporary relief.

Kishore Kumar made a couple of purely comedic movies in mid-'50s but with little success till ‘Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi’ (CKNG) which was a hit in ’58. But before that, credit must be given to Shammi Kapoor for being the first hero who brought lightheartedness in films with his carefree playboy acts. His early films, ‘Tumsa Nahin Dekha’ in ’57, ‘Dil Deke Dekho’ in ’58, ‘Junglee’ in ’61 and ‘Professor’ in ’62, were all popular hits and had people humming 'Tumsa Nahin Dekha' and screaming 'Yahoo'. I saw all these films in Bombay with my friend and shipmate Jack Suri who perished on Khukri in the ’71 War.

Tragedies were still the order of the day and the biggest of them all was ‘Dil Ek Mandir’ in 1963 which was a huge success. I hated it and it put me off Hindi movies for many years.

It was 10 long years after CKNG  that another all-out comedy was released. The movie was Mehmood’s ‘Padosan’ which revived my interest in Hindi movies. In ‘Padosan’, Masterji (Mehmood) is a South Indian music teacher who falls in love with his pupil Bindu (Saira Banu). Bhola (Sunil Dutt), staying across the street with a singer, Vidyapathi (Kishore Kumar), is Masterji’s rival for Bindu who is tolerating Masterji for the sake of music. Vidyapathi tries to teach Bhola music so that he can win over Bindu but Bhola can't sing for nuts. So to impress Bindu with his singing prowess, Bhola does the lip-syncing from his window while Vidyapathi sings hiding from the back. The song, ‘Meri Samnewali Khidki Mein Ek Chand Sa Mukhra Rehta Hai’, is a sweet, lilting melody and my good friend Aku Roy who was shot in his Alize in the ’71 War, used to hum it all the time. Later in the movie, there is a singing duel from their respective windows between Masterji and Bhola with Vidyapathi providing the background voice as usual. The song is ‘Ek Chatur Naar’ and the long sequence is outrageously funny.

In 1975, Hrishikesh Mukherjee directed ‘Chupke Chupke’, a remarkable comedy with an impressive star cast.  It had Dharmendra, Amitabh Bachchan, Sharmila Tagore, Jaya Bachchan, Om Prakash, David, Asrani and Keshto Mukherjee. The story is full of pranks played by Prof Parimal Tripathi (Dharmendra) who pretends to be a driver, Pyarelal, and Parimal's wife, Sulekha (Sharmila Tagore) at the expense of the latter’s supercilious Jijaji (Om Prakash). Additionally, Parimal prevails upon his friend Sukumar Sinha (Amitabh Bachchan), an English Professor with no knowledge of Botany, to pretend to be Parimal and teach Botany to Vasudha (Jaya Bachchan), sister-in-law of Parimal’s friend Srivastava (Asrani). Vasudha keeps asking Sukumar questions on Botany and the latter keeps dodging them and steering the conversation towards English providing for rib-tickling merriment.

Four years later, Hrishikesh Mukherjee directed another super comedy ‘Golmaal’.  This has Amol Palekar playing the role of Ramprasad, a modern young man fond of sports and fashionable clothes, finding a job in the trading company of the highly orthodox Bhavani Shankar (Utpal Dutt) who hates modernity, western dresses, sports and considers moustache a must. Ramprasad has to dress and act accordingly. On being seen at a hockey match by Bhavani Shankar, Ram, in shirt and trousers, invents a twin brother, Lucky, who is later hired to teach music to Urmila (Bindiya Goswami), Bhavani Shankar’s daughter. Urmila falls in love with Lucky but dislikes Ram. How Ram navigates his way successfully to win over Bhavani Shankar and Urmila makes for a rollicking comedy. Moustaches play an important part in the movie with Ram having to sport one as himself and be clean shaven as Lucky. Then there is a hilarious scene in which a police official (Om Prakash) mistakes Bhavani Shankar for a ‘wanted’ criminal who doesn’t have a moustache but Bhavani does which the policeman considers fake and tries to pluck it off.

Next we come to ‘Chashme Buddoor’ released in ’81. Siddharth (Farooq Sheikh), Omi (Rakesh Bedi) and Jai or Jomo (Ravi Baswani) are three college students staying together in Delhi. Siddharth is a sober guy while the other two are always looking for fun. Omi and Jomo come across Neha (Deepti Naval) and try to get fresh with her but are ticked off shamefully. Neha is a salesgirl selling a detergent called Chamko and visits the boys’ apartment as part of her rounds. She is received by Siddharth whereas the other two hide themselves. Siddharth and Neha, called Miss Chamko by the former, develop a liking for each other whereas the other two boys, seeking revenge for being shamed, are determined to separate them. The three, fond of smoking, are in heavy debt of a local paanwala, Lallan Miya (Saeed Jaffrey), who chases them for his money. Saeed Jaffrey’s act as Lallan Miya is outstanding. To acquire their mannerisms and lingo, Saeed Jaffrey is said to have met around 50 paanwalas in Chandni Chowk. Finally when they were shooting a scene of the paan shop in Nizamuddin, a passerby went up to Saeed Jaffrey to make him a paan! 

Another great comedy followed the next year. ‘Angoor’ has a script by Gulzar  based on a Bengali novel by Vidyasagar which in turn is based on Shakespeare’s ‘A Comedy of Errors’. Raj Tilak (Utpal Dutt) and his wife (Shammi) have a set of twins and as they are identical, the parents decide to give them the same name, Ashok, both played by Sanjeev Kumar. Raj and his wife also decide to adopt another set of identical twins both named Bahadur (Deven Verma). An accident while on a trip separates the family with one set of twins with Raj and the other with his wife. Years later, all of them find themselves in the same city with neither set aware of the other. The identity problems have the families and others including the police completely baffled and make for wholesome comedy.

Then in 1983 came a film which, if one were to attempt grading, would vie for the top spot. ‘Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron’ is a satire on corruption in politics, construction and journalism. Naseeruddin Shah and Ravi Baswani are cast in the role of two photographers who are hired by a journal to expose the nexus between the Municipal Commissioner (Satish Shah) and the builder (Pankaj Kapoor). The photographers engage the services of another corrupt builder (Om Puri) to assist them. The final sequence which is the staging of Mahabharat in which the two photographers, the builder and the corpse of the Commissioner get mixed up, and Mahabharat itself gets mixed up with Anarkali with the corpse propped up as the heroine, is unbelievably funny. The major characters including Satish Shah as the corpse are truly outstanding.

Next on the list is ‘Andaz Apna Apna’ in 1994. The story is a complex mix in which two clever boys, Amar (Aamir Khan) and Prem (Salman Khan), aim to come by easy money by marrying a rich girl. They chance upon Karishma (Raveena Tandon), heiress to the wealth of Ram (Paresh Rawal), and her secretary Raveena (Karisma Kapoor). Ram has a crook of a brother, Teja (Paresh Rawal’s dual role) who owes a lot of money to Gogo (Shakti Kapoor), a crime master. To accomplish their aim, Amar and Prem assume fake identities, Raveena and Karishma pretend to be the other in order to find true love and Gogo makes plans and threats to recover his money. Mistaken identities again lead to funny situations much to the delight of viewers. 

We then had ‘Hungama’ released in 2003. The plot has Radheshyam Tiwari (Paresh Rawal) as a rich man who shifts from his village to his house in Bombay which his caretaker had been letting out on the sly to one Anil (Sanjay Narvekar). A young girl, Anjali (Rimi Sen), comes to Bombay looking for a job and goes to Radheshyam’s house where she meets an electronics dealer Jeetu (Akshaye Khanna) who mistakes her for Radheshyam’s daughter and employs her. Hoping to win her love, Jeetu drops her at Radheshyam’s house every day after work and she plays along with the pretence of being Radheshyam's daughter in order to safeguard her job. Radheshyam’s wife (Shoma Anand), also named Anjali, often sees the young girl hurrying away from the house while Radheshyam sees Jeetu who at times visits the house asking for Anjali. Net result, Anjali Tiwari suspects her husband of having an affair with young Anjali while Radhe thinks his wife is involved with Jeetu. In a husband and wife confrontation heightened by the common name Anjali, Paresh Rawal and Shoma Anand are at their screaming best. Side by side, there is the involvement of Kachara Seth ‘Raddiwala’ (Shakti Kapoor) looking to settle scores with Anil who had pretended to be Radhe’s son, and Raja (Rajpal Yadav), a rustic from Anjali’s village who comes to the city hoping to marry her. 

Our list ends with ‘Welcome’ released in 2007. This involves big underworld dons, the brothers Uday (Nana Palekar) with a mercurial temper and Majnu (Anil Kapoor), and RDX (Feroz Khan) and his son Lucky (Shereveer Vakil). Uday is looking for a match for his sister Sanjana (Katrina Kaif) who meets Rajiv (Akshay Kumar), nephew of Dr. Ghungroo (Paresh Rawal). Sanjana and Rajiv fall in love but when Dr. Ghungroo learns that Uday and Majnu are underworld figures, he opposes the match and takes the family away to Sun City, South Africa. Uday, Majnu and Sanjana also fetch up in Sun City and following Uday’s promise to give up crime in favour of acting, all is set for the engagement of the two lovers. Enter RDX and Lucky, an accidental shooting and misperceptions, and the whole lot land up in a cabin precariously perched on a cliff where even the slightest movement inside would result in the cabin hurtling down the valley. The tense goings-on inside the cabin keep the audience laughing and at their seats' edges.

This list is the joint effort of Akhila and me. Limiting an all-time list of comedies to a small number is not easy. Upto the ‘70s, there were not too many comedies but from ‘80s onwards, comedy became a popular genre and the numbers are large. One could argue that Namak Halal, Chachi 420, Munnabhai MBBS and 3 Idiots deserve to be included. No quarrel with that and they do get our honourable mention!